Starting fresh always has its advantages.

I figure now is as good a time as any. Its been a rough couple of months. I first came to Diettalk in February and have started and stopped a million times since then. I have felt so discouraged the past two months and have made oh, about 7 million excuses!

Its time to start new and keep trucking. I have shed my old journal and decided to begin this whole journey from the start, forgetting about the past. I will start to weigh in again every Monday beginning with Monday Sept 18th. I need to get new batteries for my scale and like weighing on Monday's so we'll start next Monday.

My original start weight was 277 once upon a time so I am not sure where I am right now. I had gotten down to 255 then back up to 265 and now I am sure I am probably over 277...we'll soon see.

My pledges..

1) to write here EVERY DAY!!
2) Drink 2 red containers (2 lts??) of water
3) Eat SMARTLY
4) Exercise 2 times a week (to start)

Once I reach a ten lb mini goal I will by myself a new movie...I am a HUGE movie buff!!

Back later
Shannon

What a wonderful day to restart yourself!!

Actually any day is a wonderful day to restart yourself if you need to restart yourself, and we so often do. This losing weight is a difficult business, and there is no easy solution. So we just keep trying and trying.

The best of luck to you and your new journal.

Hey Buggy!
I am so glad you are back and with a vengence! I Love Ya Meister and I have missed you! I am too tired to write in my own journal tonight, but when I saw your new one I had to come in and make myself at home!:D You feel like home to me! :hug:
You have a good plan going on...I am with you every step of the way :D
So get out to the store, get your batteries, go shopping and lets kick some butt! *Hiyaaaaa*:ninja: :ninja: :ninja:
lynn

Mmmm, smells nice and fresh in here and I like the colour you painted the walls!

You can dooooooo it!

Corinna

Good Morning Ladies!

Thank you for stopping in...

Jo ~ I realized after I restarted yesterday that it was 9/11. I will forever remember that date as the start to the new me =)

Corinna ~ I think the new surroundings will fit me well. A fresh start never hurt anybody. Thanks for checking in hun. I can use all the support you have to give =)

Shy ~ Hey Bay-Bee...how ya doin?? I sure have missed ya. Its been a rough rough rough summer. Too many things going on and no Shan time. I thinK I finally hit the bottom and hurt my kiester when I fell LOL You'll see lots of me now, I promise :)

I did really well yesterday. No cheats and ALOT of resisting temptations.

Have you ever really looked at how supermarkets are laid out?? Boy oh Boy was I mad yesterday!! I walked around the store and every time i turned around there was chips, cookies, bars, ice cream, candy, pasteries. EVERY corner held something else to make me cringe *sigh* BUT I didn't give in, I bought only healthy good things.

I know that this is going to be really hard. I have regressed so far that I have to retrain my body into wanting good things and fighting all the temptations. Its already feeling hard but I know that I need to keep coming here and getting support, venting, etc.

I feel like I lost so much ground and cannot wait to start making some of it up!!

Glad to be back home

Shan
Thank you for all the encouraging words in my journal. One day at time is the only way to do what we are doing. You will get there one foot in front of the other. Baby steps. Go girl you will see improvement very soon. Good luck.

Thanks for popping in Boblin! I think I lost track along the way because I got so busy and wasn't able to pop in here as often. This site and my friends have really saved my life. I just need to remember that and never stray far again ;)

Baby steps will come soon...right now I think I am barely tiptoeing LOL

Shan

Good Morning Good Morning...

Things are going great. I resisted all temptations and ate really well. I would like to get in a bit more water but otherwise I am pleased with myself. My friend ordered some deep fried apple sticks with carmel and ice cream and I didn't even have an urge to try them...YAY me!!

Putting me first is finally really really important to me =)

I sure miss everyone. I love coming here and chatting and feeling supported.

I will update everyone again later.

Shannon

Hey Little One....:D
Well I am so glad that you are finally "getting" the IMPORTANCE of putting YOU FIRST...
Learning to do that is the first BIG STEP to success! Believe me I know how hard that is to achieve when you have loved ones that you feel you need to put before you. But TRUST me,
once you learn how to balance it out, it really is the best for everyone involved. My herd is still alive and functioning even though I have said "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH" Really Shan, they will drain the life right out of you and it is not their fault if we allow it. WE ARE TO BLAME...As mothers and wives we have to train our families right....:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

DEEP FRIED APPLE STICKS WITH CARMEL ICECREAM??????????
Girl, are you trying to KILL me.....We don't mention those kinds of foods in front of the Mama Llama..... You are REALLY obtaining some wicked strong will power over there!
GOOD FOR YOU! WHOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO

I am back on the run...those phone books will wait for no-one.......
I have to read a chapter before class too....Gotta Keep Up

{{{{{{SUPER HUGS}}}}}}
lynn

I like the new journal, and applaud you on sticking to it like that. Beginning is so, so HARD. Lots of positive thoughts your way. The fried apple and ice cream things sound like they were devised by satan himself. Super evil, combining extra fat and sugar with a nice piece of tastey fruit like that. Take Care.

CFJ
My Journal (http://www.diettalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55018)

http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/3;8;72;0;0/c/-179.5/t/-179.5/k/5a7a/weight.png
(http://www.TickerFactory.com/)

Good Morning Friends

Thanks Fagan and Shy for popping in. Glad that you like the new surroundings :)

Trust me, the danged ice cream and fried apples looked heavenly...*sigh* So hard to resist but very rewarding in doing so!

I am so proud of myself. I have been doing really really well. It seems that every time I turn around there is tempation and I am just whizzing right by it =)

I am going to wait about 2 more weeks to start back with my exercising. I think I can only focus on one part of this at a time...baby steps right??

Otherwise everything is going really well. Kids, sweetie, 3 puppies, 50 fish, 2 hamster, one bird and a new "daughter" are all good, busy, happy and good!

Shannon

Shan Meister....
I am so very PROUD of you! You just keep taking those baby steps and you will be off and running before you know it! Sometimes when we try to take on a lot of things at one time it just becomes too overwhelming and it is like we are kind of setting ourselves up to fall.
Start off minute by minute....hour by hour..then day to day.
I am kind of stuck on day to day..that is where my comfort zone lies. If I sat here and actually thought on an every day basis..."Geez, I just lost 100 lbs. and I still have way over a hundred to go...." Well, honestly Shan, I think I would just be in a constant state of depression and then I would surely fail. Actually to be truthful some days it is just meal to meal...:laugh:
It is so much more than what we put in our mouths. It is that lifestyle change. And it is really hard to change a lifestyle. We have eaten in one particular way for a great part of our lifes, surely that takes time to change. I LOVE YA BUGGY!
{{{{{{SUPER MAMA LLAMA HUGS}}}}}}}}
lynn:D

Thanks so much Lynn for the help and support. Your wisdom means the world to me!
Ideally, I think that I have about 80lbs to lose. I think (ballparking it) that would get me to around 180 or so and honestly, right now I think that would be a good range for me. If I ever go lower then that then great!!!

I am literally going minute by minute still. Not even meal to meal. Its crazy how strapped to food I am.

I was reading in this months issue of Looking Good Now magazine an article about peoples love for food. It is totally me. I have a love affair with food and I am just now filing for divorce LOL

Much love!
Shan

Its Saturday and I am doing well. I did have a small treat last night and had a grab bag of mixed chips (pretzels, doritos, etc) for a total of 220 calories. When I look at the whole of the week I am very pleased with my progress!

I will weigh in on Monday morning and that will be my "official" start date.

I started my journal today. A little notebook that I am going to write in daily and keep myself accountable.

Off for a movie..

My little buggy friend - I hope you are having a great weekend! :)

Corinna

Thanks for popping in Corinna...things were going really well!! I am pleased with myself and that is always a good thing!

I tried to weigh in this morning and the danged scale still wont accept the new batteries...*sigh* totally not happy. I really want to know where I am starting out at.

I need to go in search of batteries that work! I need 3V's. I'll update my stats as soon as I can.

Shan

Hey Sweet Bug!
Well, I know that you are frustrated with the stupid scale, BUT....as long as you are feeling good and pleased with yourself. Honey, that is what matters most right now! Do you remember what happened to me when we started out? I was weighing myself on some stupid scale, finally got my good one and I was TWENTY POUNDS MORE than I thought I was!!!At that moment I really didn't care how good I was being! I was in shock!!!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
But seriously, I should of been more focused on the fact that I was changing my lifestyle, not about a number.
KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK SHAN!
YOU ARE DOING THIS!

Thanks Shy....I am not focusing on the numbers it would just be nice to know if I am making any progress at all kwiM???

I had a total bender last night LOL I am happy that I can laugh about it and don't feel guilt ridden. I endulged in a nanaimo bar and a low fat, frozen yogurt cone...yummy....

Should have had one or the other lol, I just couldnt chose.

I think i need to start taking some vitamins or something. I am SO TIRED all the time...odd???

Shannon

Hi, Littleone

Even if the scale is not smiling at you, if you are feeding your body with a healthy mix of foods, and exercising regularly, and drinking lots of water, you are making yourself into a healthier person.

Just keep taking it a day at a time.

Thanks for popping in Jo! I will keep trucking away at it and I am sure I will start to be happy with the results some day soon...

Shannon

I so wish I had more time to DT land. I am once again alone in the office for just over a week and I am SOOOO busy its insane. Things will settle down soon though.

The kids started trampoline lessons on Tuesday...they just love it! I am glad that they are choosing to do more active things. They are both also doing cross country this year. Last year T was too young but now she can join her brother. They run M, W, & F mornings for 40 minutes before school. I think that would wipe me out LOL

Each day is a new day =)
Shan

Hey My Little Buggy Friend!
You hang in there SUPER WOMAN! Remember to have fun as well as all this work! I think it is GREAT that the kids run for 40 minutes before school! My girls are NOT morning people, they are grumpy! :laugh: I would love for them to go out there and run! They will walk with me, maybe when I am able to run they will follow...I hope so! They have also been bugging me FOREVER about a trampoline...now when Dez catches your post, she is really going to be on my back...8-| YOU HANG IN THERE HUN...
LOVE YA TO DEATH
lynn:D

Thanks Shy...

This will be Codys 3rd year running. He does cross country as well as track events (50, 100, long jump, triple jump etc) He can't wait until grade 7 when he can start doing shotput. That's what I did in high school. Cody is far more athletic then Tamara but she's slowly catching up.

The kids LOVE LOVE LOVE trampoline. We got them one, a 14ft for passing this year. More cause I wanted one too LOL They jsut started lessons and love it. They have been using it all summer, so of course they are good jumpers. We just thought the lessons would teach them better technique and would be great exercise.

Cody also wants to join a rec-hockey group that plays Monday nights but we are nto allowing him to. It is only for one hour a week and it is all the way the other side of town. It would take me just over an hour travel time for him to play for an hour...bleck. He had to make the sacrifice LOL

Thanks, AS ALWAYS , for the support =)

Big hugs
Shan

YES...YES...YES..
I remember now, when you got the trampoline you had posted that you were jumping on it and I thought that was the coolest thing!
I am so impressed by the activity of your kids! Dez did get into soccer this year. And they like to swim..I don't know I guess it is my fault. When I was growing up in N.Y. (YEARS AGO :laugh: ) the schools were very big with sports and that was how we got involved. Now I guess because of budget cuts and such, they really don't offer much at school, just limited things. I guess I should of took the initiative to find organizations that offered stuff like that. Do you know in my kids Brand New Elementary School, they don't even have a real gym, they open up the cafeteria and use it for indoor stuff. And in the Middleschool where Dez is, they only have P.E. for a quarter of the school year...that is so weird for me, when I was in school gym was all year round. Well anyway...you have done GREAT with your munchkins! Keeping them active in sports is really a great thing!
Have a GREAT weekend Buggy!
lynn:)

I am shocked about the state of the P.E. in your children's school! Totally blown away. My children each have one period of gym EVERYDAY. So 40 minutes minimum a day of gym class. The alternate and have one day outside and one day inside. The school offers every sport imaginable to the children once they hit grade four.

Cody does floor hockey during lunch period, track starts in March, Cross country running before school. They have indoor soccer after school and every recess the teachers organize outdoor games and such.

On top of being really diligent with the children's exercise our school systems really really frown on unhealthy snacks. They will actually confiscate (sp) snacks from children should there be too many unhealthy options and replace them with fruit!!

I guess I just take these little things for granted...

Shannon

Well, I finally got my scale fixed and I weighed in this morning.

I honestly thought I had gained back more weight then I originally lost and luckily that is not the case.

My starting weight way back in February was 277. I had gotten down to 255. I am now....272. SO that means I gained most of the weight I lost back BUT I havent gone over where i started from.

I now have a number to help me see my progress...I really need that. It keeps me accountable.

I joined the biggest loser challenge. My goal is to be down 16lbs in 12 weeks. I am sure I can do it...

AACHOOO, did I mention i have an awful cold....SOB SOB LOL

SHan

Wow! That is so great with the activity level your school offers! I remember when I was in school we only had PE once or twice a week, and we only had to take it until our Freshman year of HS. Some people I know didn't even have to take it that long. I think it is such a shame that our school systems have started to throw away the "extracuriccular" activities that keep our children healthier, more focused, and all together well rounded. There have been so many studies done on the effect of music & sports on childhood development, and yet they are one of the first things to go when the school has to cut back on spending. The year I graduated our schools budget was cut in half!! Just who do they think they are helping? X-(

I am very pleased with what our school board offers. I mean, think about it!! How much does it cost to have one teacher/coach stand around and encourage the children to run, jump, be active.

I know that their are costs for track and such. Our children participate in many different meets and there are atleast 3 teachers that go with them. It costs to have a supply teacher in...

I volunteer as much as possible. Right now I help out one morning a week to supervisor running. We have a parent on each corner so we can see the children at all times.

I am pleased that my children are so active and that they get the chance to do alot of it at school. I think it keeps them fresh. I know I can only sit in a classroom for so long...young minds need more then reading to grow =)

Welcome to DT mommydyanna =)

Shannon

Grumble grumble...is it still Monday....crap, I think someone forgot to tell my body its Wednesday cause it defaintly feels like a monday!

I need some energy. I have been battling a crappy cold for about a week and I think its starting to win. I feel so bogged down and floaty....lol, well that made sense to me!

I really really need to up my water intake. This week that is going to be my challenge. I need to drink atleast 2 bottles of water a day. I don't think I have been drinking any...bad shanny!

Shan

Awww, so sorry your feeling mucky sweetie! I've got an idea though - lets bring out the inner cheerleader in all of us:

Stand up, (don't argue, just do it), clap your hands, stomp your feet and yell from your gut as loud as you can:
I CAN DO IT YES I CAN! IT'S TWO DAYS AWAY FROM FRIDAY, YEAH!!! GOOOO SHANNON! :cheer:

Have you done it? You feel a million times cheerier, don't you? (Admit it you do). Have a great day and feel better! :D

Awwwww Bugsy...
I am so sorry you are feeling crappy! Vitimin C... Babe-bee!!! And have a BIG bowl of soup...add a little hot sauce to it, it will clear up your sinuses! :) Curl up on your couch with a nice warm blanket and get a little extra sleep! The world can continue on for a bit while you take a much needed break!
Love Ya Bugster!
FEEL BETTER....
lynn:)

Lots of colds circulating this year. There are a few of different chest/nose flu-like diseases here in Colorado too. I hope that you feel better soon. Don't push too hard, and DO push the liquids, vitamins, and the fruit. Take care.

CFJ
My Journal (http://www.diettalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55018)

http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/3;8;72;0;0/c/-181/t/-181/k/f0fe/weight.png
(http://www.TickerFactory.com/)

Ok girls, you both definatly made me smile!!

Actually I am sitting here laughing....

I think if i was to stand up and start yelling they might just ship me off the the looney bin...HEY!!! Atleast that would get me out of the office....

Thanks so much for the smile Diana, needed it.

Shy, lovely to see you darling! I got a kick out of the thought of me rolling on the couch...nice thought..not gonna happen though. I have about 6 hours of paperwork on my desk to sort through before a meeting tomorrow night. When I do eventually get home I have a house to clean, bird cage to wash, laundry to put away, back yard to mow before the frost comes, dusting to do and a book report to kick Codys butt into writting!!

I keep wondering when I should get that supermom tattoo...LOL

Thanks for the good wishes...I am all snuggly in my warm sweater though so I'll survive =)

Shan

You must have been posting at the same time Fagan! Here in Ontario there are so many things floating around. It doesnt help that I am exposed to about 30 different children each day who just love to hug me and send their germs into my face LOL

I really do think its time that I start taking some multivitamins or something. Any suggestions??

I do take Vitamin C regularly...

Thanks for the well wishs...I got a good giggle because I read your post three times and each time I kept reading..."Lots of CLOUDS circulatign this year" LOL I was like...what is he talking about :)

See, told you my head thinks its monday

Shannon

oh...i am just so excited right now.

I just logged on to myfreediet.com (posted on mommydyanna's journal). Anyways, its idiot proof. It made a 4 week diet plan for me, laid out the proteins, carbs, fats, calories. Gave loads of variations and substiutions if I dont like any of the food...

Ahh, I cannot wait to try this out. CROSSING MY FINGERS....I so needed something right in front of my face for me to follow. I just dont have time to think and plan...

I havent felt this determined in a LONG Time....love it love it love it..

Shan

Yay!! I'm so glad that you got that motivational shove!

We really are LOADS alike. I need it all just laid out in front of me. Somebody to say, "This is what you need to do and when"

Just a helpful hint, when you go to replace things on the menu or even just looking at other things that don't match up entirely you can recalculate the daily totals. For each gram of Protein/Carbs is 3.99 (4) calories. For each gram of fat it is 10.49 calories. Then you can recalc. all of the percentages. I try and stay around the same guidelines they've given.

Good luck hun, you'll do great! I'm here to help too!

I am so glad that we happened upon each others journals! It is wierd that we are so very similar but i think we can be a great help to each other!

I thinK I will try and stay as close as possible to what the food plan outlines and if i do substitute I will do so with similar foods. Thanks for the hint about the converted calories..that will help alot. I really hate looking at things and going...is this really good for me. I am such a food dummy!!


I truely think having it really infront of my face will help me SO much. I was following the G.I. Diet way of eating for a long time and I did really good in the winter before I hit the ground with a smack (fell off the wagon LOL)

I loved the concept and it really worked for me BUT i didnt have the time, energy etc needed to compile all the information into a menu. It was just too much for my overloaded brain. Now here it is...POW...even a shopping list. LOL I am so in heaven =)

Thanks so much hun!
Shan

I have to say that I feel like I accomplished alot today. Both work wise and personal life wise.

I feel completly renewed and energized...even though I still feel like its Monday and I feel yucky LOL

I have a game plan and the motivation to implement it. I have drank 4 bottles of water so far and am excited about going shopping tonight to get the supplies for my new menu!

I am off now...have to go do a bank deposit then pick up the clan from school...

Enjoy your night my friends =)

Shan <-- who vows to see her snail move this week :)

Aha!! Lady! I found you...despite your trying to hide from me!!! Soooooooooo???? I see we are excited about a new plan, eh??? Good for you!! Sometimes you can't move forward until you get that big CLICK in your brain! And we all know that you can't force it ----because we have spent a lifetime trying!

The important thing is to stay excited and results will make that happen, as well as encouragement and checking in with us (I know I haven't been around, but you can always email me!)

Anyway, I didn't read your whole new journal, but whatch gonna do for exercise? That will really get you going and you will see change!!! And then look out for the hot Mama!!!

Keep me posted!

Hey baby!!

SO nice to see you again. I wasn't hiding...promise :) Just needed a makeover so I started some new digs LOL

I am starting slowly on the exercise. Last night I used my stairmaster and did 150 steps..i know that doesnt sound like alot but HOLY COW did it burn. My buns are sore today LOL

I am also going to be doing my Leslie Sansone tapes and I just bought a Walk with George Foreman LOL Let's see how that goes. As I get back into the swing of things I'll pick up Tae-Bo again and go from there.

I am still feeling energized and totally excited.

So glad to see you again hun, I'll pop over to your journal in a minute...after I finish BREAKFAST :)

Go Shanny...LOL

Hugs
Shan

Hey Shan,

Just wanted to pop in and thank you again for motivating me yesterday. You said exactly what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. Thank you thank you a million times :hug:

Momma D

I have no idea where the time flew! Its already 1 and my day is not even close to being half over. SO many things to do.

The way my job works everything is bunched into month blocks. That means that the end of the months are just nuts around here and i am crazy busy. Luckily this month isn't too bad and I am already organized for next month to start =)

Hey MD...no problem at all. Friends are our lifelines and I know there are many many days I wouldn't be able to push along without the help of my supporters =) Glad I could be of some use...

Hey Bugs!
Just poppin' in to say HELLO..:D
It seems you are feeling better....YAY...
:jn :jn :jn
Can't have a sick Bug Meister...nope...nope....nope :)
I am having a real hard time finding scrubs that fit me...:c(
They must cut them smaller, I can fit in a 2x jeans...but the 3x scrubs are snug..can't be having that....imagine me bending over to lift some old person and I rip out the seat of my pants....OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!
It is so depressing having a hard time finding the right sizes!
Well, let me continue the search...:tongue:
LOVE YA SHAN
lynn

Awww...as much as it might be a hoot and a holler to see your polka dotted panties, i feel for you LMAO

I hate how things are sized differently. In some pants I can wear 18 in others 22 fit nicely...how annoying is that???

Glad that you are so determined and doing so damned well. I am so pleased and proud of you hun!

Much love,
Shan

K, almost time to head out for the weekend. I will try my best to pop in throughout the weekend. I am totally rededicated to DT and know that everyone here is keeping me strong!!! I will do my best to pop in before I work my butt off this weekend. I have a conference to host on Saturday and work on the boat on Sunday....wish me luck on the conference...Shanny all spiffed up LOL SHould be a hoot.... I wont wear heels though, no no no...

See u all later
Shan

Shan,

Yeah, I really don't recommend the heels. I have a pair of stilletto boots that are SO cute, but I wear them far and few between b/c they hurt like mad! I made the mistake of wearing them yesterday. The good news is they gave me quite the leg workout! Ha ha!

Have a great weekend hun!

Momma D

ACK! The weekend was SOOO busy. I had to run a seminar all day on Saturday and sunday I worked on the boats. I barely slowed down so I didn't get to be on here...I must confess that I did pop in quickly to read a few posts but thats about it...no time to type!

I weighed in this morning and there was no change. It was actually up 1.3lbs which seems really really odd to me. I do feel bloated because its almost TOM and I have eatten more then I usually do. I guess it will all start coming off in the next week or so as my body adjusts to this new change.

I have a crazy busy today so I am not sure how much I will be on but i'll definatly pop back in soon.

WE have decided that we are heading to NFLD on Oct 13. My MIL turns 60 on the 17th so we are going to surprise her. I am sure she'll just faint LOL Its such a big trip and a long drive that she would never expect us to come. We are leaving the kids with my father so it'll just be us. After working 7 days a week for 7 months I really need a break. I am totally excited about this :)

Back soon
Shan

Oh Shan, that sounds like a lot of fun! I love surprises!

Hope it slows down for you soon. Sounds like you really need a vacation.

Well.... back to the slave shop! Ha ha!

It never slows down....the boat lines will be finished after next weekend. That will be really nice but I am sure I will miss the extra income it generates. My "full time" job never slows down. I am constantly going. Take tonight for example...I work from 830-430 and then have to be at a first aid course from 6-930. Tomorrow I work 830-5 and have to run a workshop from 7-9. Most nights are free but this week is just nuts. Now that I plan to take off a week I will have to run myself ragged for the two weeks leading up to it. I am really looking forward to it though...a nice break will do me good. With all the colors changing, the drive will be beautiful too!

Shan

:flower: Missed you today Shan! Hope things slow down some (I know, I know, they won't - but we can pretend :D ) See you soon!

Thanks for popping in MD...I will be at work in about an hour or so and will be hanging around most of the day. Since I am trying to get all my reports done for October BEFORE I head out on the 13th the next little bit will be crazy. I am so looking forward to going away but at the same time I know it will be a week away from DT in rural Newfoundland and I know that my eating and exercise will be awful! Fresh fruit and veg are virtually unheard of where I am going LOL Its very very small town where everything is trucked in "over the road" which means usually by the time it hits Burgeo everything is bad :( Plus the price of fresh stuff is enormous. Its actually quite sad...

How has your week gone so far?

Shan

My week is going pretty well. My receptionist friend who I love, but was SO unreliable when it came to work, got fired on Monday. That was a little sad.

That is so rough about the fresh food shortage! You would think rural community = fresh harvest. Especially in the fall! Lots of pumpkin, squash, apples.... yum!

Work hard, then you can play hard babe!

Talk to you soon!

Ha! I guess you don't know much about Newfoundland LOL There is no soil to harvest anything. 99% of Newfoundland is rock....hence, the nickname THE ROCK! In most communities they cannot even plant flowers and trees because the earth is all rock, most families do not have grass yards etc. My mil basement is literally a rock carved hole LOL

It's a very very beautiful place that I cherish visiting but its SO different from here...

I will kcik it up a gear between now and then and hopefully the slacking off while there will not be a huge deal. Unfortuantly I cannot even bring fresh produce because it is prohibited from being transported on the ferry. They really do check too and if you get caught they won't let you board...

Shan

BTW...sorry to hear about your friend! It's sad when work friends change...they can often help keep your day flowing nicely.

Do you have a big company and lots of staff or just a few??

Shan

I so knew that there would be a downside to working from home today. It started with an "O" and ended with an "O" and has a RE in the middle..ohh and they are so good dunked in milk LOL

*sigh* Atleast I am smiling and not feeling guilty for my little endulgence =)

Who knew oreo aftertaste sucked LOL

Gotta go pretend to get some work done...

Its Thursday, we have officially passed the hump day. That is always a nice feeling. My week hasn't been normal. Its seems to be dragging because I know I am on holidays as of next weekend. A week away, that'll be nice!

It's also a long weekend here in Canada...gotta go have some turkey. It's actually really funny because growing up I hated turkey...my mom always made me a ham on the side of Christmas and Thanksgiving and now I cannot wait to get some! My mouth actually waters...yummy!

I have been doing good with my exercise. I did another 150 steps last night and OMG it burned. I cannot believe how hard I found it. I so wanted to stop but I pushed on!!! YAY for me.

I have lots of healthy ideas and just need to start kicking it all into full gear:)

Lots of office work...lots lots lots.

I love your new exercise ticker. It's so colorful!

Mmmmm...turkey! And it's so good for you too!!! Double whammy!

Okay, so a bit of an ignorant question here, but Thanksgiving in Canada?? Learn something new everyday. Ha ha.

Take care! Have fun with all that work work work!

LMAO Ok, you didn't know that we celebrate Thanksgiving??? We think ya'all are weird for celebrating it in November *grins* Generally our Thanksgiving is the 2nd Monday in October.

This year we will be going to my father's which is nice...no cooking for me *YAY*

I love the ticker...I liked the boldness of it...I won't be able to ignore it that way LOL I need to start doing my stairmaster everyday not just once a week...SO this way I can see the progress and feel good about it. Trust me, my butt aches today LOL

I am bound and bent to see a lower number this coming Monday so I will work my behind off to get there...I NEED to see something before I leave...

Well, I hate to make assumptions about other countries holidays. I worked at a summer camp for people with DD one year and one of our Foreign Volunteers asked another FV (who happened to be from England) what they did to celebrate the fourth of July. Ha ha ha. It was pretty entertaining to see that conversation develop.

Yes, in many ways we American's are pretty strange. Happy Thanksgiving then!! Don't go too crazy or anything!

That's the attitude girl, GO FOR GOLD! Did you see Biggest Loser last night? (thanks so much by the way, like I need to become addicted to yet another TV program). I was kind of sad for the blue team to have to watch their husbands and wives leave. :( And I was just bugeyed over the whole "girls trying to boot off all the guys" approach. I realize they want to win, but whatever happened to good ol' competition?? I will never understand cut-throat sort of things like that. I figure if you do it well, you do it the best, you win. Not if you can con people out of a well deserved applaude. Aargh.

:harvest:Happy Turkey Day again! I'm Thankful this year to have found DT & of course my new DT twin! :hug:

Thanks for the Happy Thanksgiving wishes...should be a nice weekend! The weather is going to be great and I think I will take the family out for a hike at the local conservation area. It is soooo pretty with the leaves turning and such :)

I love the BL! Can't say I am sorry that I got you watching it. I find it is such a motivation booster. I got teary eyed over the families having to leave without spending time with each other. It was so sweet when the one guy said he was going to swim after his wife *sweet!*

I was totally annoyed at Heather though. Come on, running around yelling at people. She'll likely look back at that episode and be totally ashamed of herself. It amazes me that people feel they can treat others like that. I don't care how much pressure you're under kwim??

The whole alliance thing is kindda tacky to me. I would think that they are all on the ranch for the same reason, to win their personal weight battles. Root for the people that are working the hardest and losing the most. Logistically I don't think a woman could easily win the show. The man are far larger and while I know they take the percentage I think a man will most likely always win. Not that I don't want the woman to kick some butt. Oh, how i would LOVE to be on the ranch. I think they have everything going for them!!

Last years winner and runner up got married recently...it was very sweet.

I am mighty long winded today LOL I think its because I know I am outta here soon and really not too focused on work! I have pulled some overtime hours so I am heading out today at 1130 to even myself up again. Its a gorgeous fall day and there is a house to be cleaned...lol

I too am thankful for DT and all my friendships, including our blossoming new one! It's amazing how the right person to motivate you always come along when you need them :)

Shannon

bad bad shan. I didn't exercise last night...instead I went out with my sweetie and we went to the casino *WOOHOO* What a fun night. We ended up being up and down all night long and came home only down ten dollars. So overall it was a really fun night!

tonight I am going to do two sets of 150 stepups...bleck, don't think I will be able to walk tomorrow...

Oh the casino sounds like fun! Hubby and I played the lotto the other night. All of our numbers were ONE number off. How disappointing! Grrrr.

Good job on winning 10 bucks though! And hey, walking all over hell & back in a casino is a workout! Not to mention throwing dice :laugh: Okay, so maybe not, but you'll kick it in the butt and do it today!

Have a great one!
MD

:o AAW Shan!! I just read your post from yesterday! You big sweetie!

I totally forgot about the part where Heather was running around the boat yelling for somebody to sign. If somebody were yelling at me that way, I wouldn't sign either. In the words of Full House's Stephanie, "How Rude!" Ha ha ha.

It's supposed to be a BEAUTIFUL weekend (well here anyway) go out and enjoy it! TTL. MD

LOL I won way more then 10 bucks LOL It was a good night...we were only down ten bucks. Its nice when you go expecting to blow all the money that you went with and then come back with just as much that you were thinking would be all gone!!

I love the slots and the roulette table. I play the same numbers every time 7,11,13,23,24...daughter bday, fav number, lucky number, sweeties bday, sons bday...I don't often win too much but enough to keep me playing. I adore our casion here its good for a night away from the kids!

We just started playing the lottery on a weekly basis, between 3 games we spread around 10 bucks a week and hope for a miracle. My friends aunt won 8million a couple of years ago and they were dirt poor. It does happen...you just have to be "the one" kwim?? You go ahead a win and we can all go hang out on a rocking cruise some where!! How does that sound LOL

I snorted at your "how rude" I SOOOOO Love full house! I had the biggest crush on Jessie...John Stamos was on ER the last two weeks. I missed it last night cause we were out but the commericals were enough to keep me drooling *grins*

We are supposed to have blue skies and sun all weekend. Since I think our weatherman got his degree outta the cracker jack box there isnt much hope of that happening :P

Did i tell you about our exchange student?? IF not let me know and I'll fill you in. We had been wanting her to switch to a new host family because it's been really difficult but we had a great conversation with her last night and we think we are now going to give it another try....cross your fingers for us!

Shan

ROFLMAO I love your Cracker Jack box theory! I personally believe they have two sets of dice. One with numbers that they roll to determine the temperature, and the other with cloudy, partly cloudy, sunny, rain, thunderstorms, & snow. Give them a good toss and TADA today's weather forecast!

Also love John Stamos. He just doesn't age does he??

If I win the lotto, we'll go on a Disney cruise vacation to Europe. How does that sound?? :D

You mentioned your ES but you never really went into detail about what was going on that was making the whole experience so terrible. I'm glad that you were able to talk though and try and work things out. I'll cross fingers and toes! Keep me posted.

TTFN
MD

HAPPY THANKSGIVING CHICA!! :turkeytalk: Hope you're having a great time. I know it's Thanksgiving the one excuse during the year to make a pig of yourself, but BE GOOD!!

See ya soon!

MD

Happy Turkey Day!!! Gobble, Gobble!

It's Columbus Day for us and most of the offices are closed, of course, I am a loser and here at work.

Anyway--hope you have a great time! My favorite: turkey on white bread (fresh, fresh), with stuffing, cranberry sauce, mayo and salt and pepper! Yummy!

Hey ladies,

Thanks for the Thanksgiving wishes...it was an awesome long weekend. I was so wrong about the weatherman. He hit it bang on and it was a GORGEOUS weekend...nicer then the last few weeks of summer.

Spent lots of time with family and friends and didn't make a pig out of myself. I am pleased :)

MD, sounds like an awesome Disney Cruise...I have always wanted to go on one...actually, any cruise! Just need to hit it big time first!

Hope you had a great weekend. Did you end up having monday off!

Sorry that you had to work monday Les...that sucks. On the boat line I always work when everything else is closed. Luckily my office at my "real" job closes for all holidays...

Back later
Shan

As Les said, it was Columbus Day here, and OF COURSE I DIDN'T get the day off! Are you nuts? :laugh: The funny thing is that I work in the mailing business and mail isn't delivered on Columbus Day! But it can be delivered to them, so we are still working like slaves.:whip:

Glad you had such a great weekend! How were the kids? Were you ready to get back to work, or did you come in with both feet dragging? I'm always the latter after a long weekend.

Happy somewhat Monday! :D
MD

:-/ Shanny? Shaaaaaan?? Where did you gooooooo?

:help: Somebody help find our little buggy!!

*GRINS*
Thanks for looking for me LOL I wasn't in the office at all yesterday. I had one meeting after another. It has been totally crazy and trying to tye up all these loose ends before I go on holidays is driving me crazy....totally bonkers. I know that if all my ducks aren't in a row before I head out my boss will email me everyday LOL

Things here are going good. I am doing fine and enjoying the new changes. I am starting to really enjoy the way things are going. I feel like i can better make choices and feel confident doing what I am doing.

Sucky that you had to work on Columbus day. I enjoyed my long weekend. It was nice and the weather was great. I don't mind coming in after a long weekend. My job is so fast paced that I never have time to drag my feet LOL

How are things going???

Shan

OH SHAN!! I'm so PROUD of you too! Having that confidence is such a huge obstacle! Pretty soon that feeling of "I need to have (fill in comfort food here) NOW!" will fade into the background. I used to think that there were so many things that I could never give up. Now I'm beginning to feel more in control of what's going into my body, not so much my cravings controling me.

Sounds like more busy busy busy for you at work. Sheesh. When does the rat race ever stop, ya know?

I'm doing fantastic! I feel energized and just...released...from my previous binge eating, compulsive, obsessive self. I'm so much happier this way, even if I haven't met goal yet.

Take care of yourself hun!
Momma D

Hey Bugmeister...
How is my favorite little person doing??? I am so glad that you are feeling confident, that is wonderful to reach that point. It is so freeing, don't ya think? I think it so sucks when I know that I can do something but my lack of confidence stops me. X-( If I can give my girls anything in life, I hope I can teach them to be confident. I am not sure if teach is the right word. How about, I hope that I can praise them enough so that they might grow up feeling like they can do anything they set their minds too? I know you know what I mean, You understand my gibberish..:laugh:
Have a GREAT weekend BUGS
You know I love ya!
{{{{{SUPER MAMA LLAMA HUGS}}}}}}}
lynn:D

Hmmm.... I feel as though someone is sliding off the ball.....

Come back Shan!

Hey Hey
I am so not off the ball! I was gone...remember gone to Newfoundland! I am back now and feeling really really good.

I will post more later on but just want to pop in and say that I am here and doing great!

Glad to be back.
Shan

YAY BUGGY!!!!!
Good for you meister! How was your trip???? Was it really beautiful with the changing of the leaves? I am forgetting again.... Was this a romantic trip with just you and your sweety? I know you went to the MIL's but did the family come also? Well..either way, I hope you had a FANTASTIC trip. :D
LOVE YA BUGS!!!!!
{{{{{{SUPER HUGS}}}}}}}}
mama llama :sweety:

LMAO...well i wouldnt exactly call it romantic but it was just the two of us and it was nice. The scenery was beautiful, as always, but the changing colors made it so pretty. The weather SUCKED...it rained constantly to and from. While we were there though it was so pretty...warm actually!

I have to admit I had a fantastic time. I ate ****ty mind you but that's cause there is no fresh produce there. I missed my veggies and fruit. I have to say that overall I did do really well though. I just didn't balance it all out the way it should have been. Plus two days up and two days back meant lots of crappy on the road food. We brought some sandwiches and veggies but sometimes you just need a hot chocolate and chocolate bar to keep you going LOL

How is everything going hun?? I'll pop over in your journal soon.

Shan

Shan!

So glad your back sweetie, it was lonesome without you :hug:

Will talk more later. Have to work now. Grrr

Dang it!! Why does work have to get in the way of our chatting LOL Some nerve...*grins* Just kidding.

I know how that goes. I have been playing catch up all day. Being away for a week really has wreaked havoc on my time lines...

Catch ya soon hun!
Shan

Sometimes you just have to HATE tempations *sigh* Last night, well all yesterday actually was a crappy day. I had a headache, I was constantly playing catch up after our trip and one thing after another kept piling on my shoulders. Boy was I cranky!!

I did do my grocery shopping after supper which was very smart because I was full and nothing really said "EAT ME" LOL But by the time I got home my head was pounding so bad and I was so exhausted and still had hours of work today Ijust got crankier and moodier by the minute. I wanted to eat everything! I have eliminated all adult temptations but boy did my kids snacks look good LOL

I did pick up a little thing for my sweet tooth. It was this new yogurt called some extreme. It was strawberry with tiny chocolate bits in it. Only 120 calories for one container...better then eatting a huge bag of chips right???

Anyways, I had that adn snacked on some carrots and drank lots of water. I wanted to exercise, I intended to exercise but there was just no energy left AT ALL by the time everything else was accomplished. Last night was the first night in months and months that I fell right to sleep without reading. I woke up this morning after 8 hours of sleep and still feel totally knackered though...bleck!

Anyways, I am pleased with myself. I know I could have eatten the steeple off a church last night. Have you ever noticed how many rotten tempting commercials they have on TV now...even a flippin' car commercial had me drooling last night *LOL* They showed chocolate covered strawberries...YUMMY

I am out of the office today. I am attending a "women in business" luncheon...don't really want to but its part of the job!

See u soon

Oh my Love, Temptations are an evil...evil...thing...mmmmmmmm chocolate covered strawberries..that reminds me...like a few days before I started this journey back last January, we went out and bought a Fondue set.(a really nice one) I used it one time...but boy did I enjoy it...melted chocolate with cut up pieces of banana...pound cake...strawberries...*drooling over here* :laugh: Well it has been collecting dust on top of my fridge ever since..a dangerous thing it is..lol...I swear it calls to me ALL the time. Do you have any idea if it could be possibly used for something that would be healthy and not too full of fat and calories???? or is that just out of the question and just wishful thinking on my part?
Anyway..you ponder that one...Look how GREAT you did sidetracking the evil temptation monster! WAY TO GO BUGS!!!:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
I am so PROUD of you! You slayed the beast!
I am sorry you were dealing with a nasty headache, I hope you are feeling better!
And do not worry about the exersize, you had a BUSY day and you went grocery shopping, that HAD to burn off some cals.
I hope today turns out to be a better one!!!!
Why don't you want to go to the luncheon?????
Sounds like a better way to spend the day rather than in the office......
LOVE YA BUGS!!!!!
lynn

Hey! I thought you were going to post here! :laugh: Just kidding hun. :hug:

Momma D

I have juggled all day over whether or not to post about my experience last night or not. I have decided that I need to. I need to just get it out!

I think I mention in my old journal, or to a few people privatly that my step mother is an alcoholic. She and my father have been married for about 3 years and together for a few more. My father left my mother after 26 years of marriage (granted the last 2 had been miserable) and moved to England to be with this woman that he met online. They have sinced moved to Canada and are married. I have loved and accepted Sue from the very start. Mainly because I adore my father. He and I are best friends, he's my rock and I honestly do not know what I would do without him or where I wouldbe in my life! He's amazing.

Anyways, soon after Sue moved here we noticed that she would be very different at different times. One occassion she was lvoing, funny, gentle, warm just nice to be around. Then two weeks later at dinner or a night of cards she would be vicious (sp), mean, hurtful and bitter. She would often speak down to my father, be rude, make hurtful comments and just make the whole evening uncomfortable. Eventually my father confided in us that she was an alcoholic. Apparently a problem that she had been battling with for many many years. He was not aware of this until she had moved to Canada and things became harder to hide.

We have all tried to get her help and she has recently went through a 6 month period where she was dry. However, about 3 weeks ago my dad said that Sue started drinking again. My step mom has two sons 11 & 14 who still live in England with their father. Apparently their father is not allowing them to come to Canada over Christmas, as has been the tradition over the past few years. They arrive on the 28th. Since that conversation my mother has started drinking again.

Dad said its been little bits at a time and he's been pretty upfront with her telling her he knows its happening, dumping her bottles down the sink, taking her keys, cards etc. She absolutly refuses to get professional help. She thinks AA and the like is all about God, which she doesn't believe in and will not attend any meetings.

She has caused great bodily harm and has many scars and such. Her skin pigment is changin color and she has aged decades in the matter of months.

Long story short. My father is out of town on business to the states until this coming thursday night. He sensed that mom might drink alot and came over and gave me a set of housekeys and a note with her work hours, his numbers etc. He asked me to keep in touch with her and call her once a day or so to see how she was doing.

I talked to her Sunday but did not hear from her on Monday at all. I called and called but she did not return any messages. I had a bad sense throughout the day yesterday so I called my brother to see if he had talked to her (dad asked him to call her too) he hadn't. I had decided after my meeting at 7pm I would go and check on her. Would have been around 9 or so.

Through dinner we recieved a call from my father saying he had not talked to her since sunday could we please go and check on her. So I immediatly dropped my fork and ran out the door. They live less then 2 minutes away.

We arrived at their home to find her unconscious (sp) on her bed. Empty 60ozs of Vodka, loads of empty beer bottles and empty pill containers everywhere. It turns out she took full bottles of advil, tylenol, midol, sinutab, anitdepressants and gravol.

We called an ambulance. The police and EMT's quickly responded and she is now in hospital. I have signed a waiver to have her admited to hospital for 72 hours in which she will be assessed and not able to sign herself out.

Apparently she had vomitted a great deal before passing out and this is what saved her life.

I am sorry, a very very long story. Its been a long horrible night and now I will be in the hospital a lot over the next few days while my dad comes home.

I'll read through this and see what I missed. I think everyone will get the gist. Thanks for letting me vent!

Shannon

Holy crap! I don't know what to say at all about this, except to send out hugs and support to you and yours. It has been my experience that once someone goes down the road of total self-destruction, there is not much that you can do about it but comfort the loved ones around them and watch what happens. You can't fix her. Your dad can't either. She can decide to do something about it or not, but it is up to her.

I hope for your family's sake, that she does decide to start doing something about it while she is checked into the hospital. Be strong. Your dad is going to need that stregth, and he sounds like a nice guy. Hang in there.

CFJ
My Journal (http://www.diettalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55018)

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Oh Shan sweetheart! I'm so so sorry you are having to go through this right now. :hug: I've never had to deal with this situation to this extent. My mothers second husband was an alcoholic, and he always battled with it. We loved him dearly, truly we did and did all we could to help him overcome his addiction, but as CFJ said, it's a choice they have to make. (I refer to Dad in the past tense b/c he passed away almost three years ago - don't worry, it was b/c of something totally unrelated).

If nothing else I would try to encourage her to have her liver very carefully examined. It sounds as though it's shutting down with the changes in skin color. I think you could also be very instrumental right now in relation to her missing her children. It must be so hard to live so far away from them only to be told they cannot come visit on one of the biggest holidays of the year. I'm sure as a mom you can relate to her on that level.

Oh sweetie, I just don't know what to say. Take care and get lots of rest though. Thinking about you tons!

Momma D

Thanks CFJ and MD for stopping by and sending your love. And to everyone that has emailed or PM'd me...I have been reading your messages but just hadn't been able to stay and post.

I will update everyone later today and her condition and my past week!

I am just super thrilled so I had to pop in here today and update my numbers. When I returned last Saturday from NFLD I weighed in Sunday morning at 278.8..HIGHEST number of my life (that I ever checked, I am sure I was higher just not weighing)

I am proud to say that even after my week from hell I am now at 273....down 5.8 lbs....that is SOOOOO what I needed to get myself back in the groove...

Back later
Shan

Shan,

WOO HOO! Way to go on the AWESOME weight loss!

Keep us updated. I'm thinkin' about ya!

Momma D

WAY TO GO SHAN!!!!! keep up the good work~ The reward will be your hot body and being able to move around better than ever before....sometimes taking the steps or walking down the street---I will stop and think " wow, last year I wasn't able to move so well or fast!" It's amazing.......and in the beginning it just wants to fall right off of you! Enjoy your success


I am proud of you! Top Model tomorrow baby!

Hey everyone!!

It's been a few days...but I just wanted to pop in. I am hoping that later today I will be able to actually do some journal hoping and check in with everyone.

My Stepmom is doing just fine.
My exchange student has finally found a new home LONG LONG STORY
My son broke his foot...explains why I havent been around
My sweetie started a new job...YAY

erm...thats about it...its been nuts!!

I am still doing really well. I miss being here like I was before my vacation but its been a job playing catch up, playing nurse maid to my stepmom and my son now LOL and trying to do my normal work.

Feeling good...

How is everyone else??
Shan

its amazing how fast you can go from feeling awesomely strong to feeling down in the dumps.

I could eat ten lbs of candy right now and not even blink about it! Isn't that sad?? I know the things I need and want to do its just so easy to take the easy way out!

I am NOT caving in...I will pick my kids up from school and go buy healthy food! I need some more fruits and veggies...Need to drink water, need to sleep.

LOL I love that this is my journal and I can sound like a complete and total doorknob and its okay!! :p

Shan

Aaaaw, Shan, don't be sad!! I'm here now! See, here I am!

So the foreign exchange student didn't work out after all, huh? That's too bad, but it's probably a huge relief for you now.

Sounds like a huge heap on your plate right now. Go get some strawberries (who cares if they cost a fortune this time of year) and make a big bowl of strawberries with a miniscule slice of angel food cake! :) It's all sorts of healthy yummy treat!

Momma D

Hey Shan!

Get out of those dumps girlie----i can't be having my strong chicks cavin in on me!!! You hear?

Now, i know you are depressed because Top Model was a recap show, but----we will have new Tyra next week!

You are making progress---so stick with it; no sliding backwards and if you need to talk, you can always email me okay?

Now, go make some time for you !!!

I hope that you feel better today. In fact, I hope that you have a fantastic and fun weekend with no more injuries or sickness to deal with. Oh, and you don't sound like a doornob. Hang in there!

CFJ
My Journal (http://www.diettalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55018)

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Hey Meister!!!!
A DOOR KNOB????? *giggles* you are too funny even when you are feeling out of sorts!!!!
I am going to e-mail you tonight, but I just had to stop by and check your journal. Hey, Momma D's suggestion for strawberries and angel food cake sounds really good! I think I just might have to make a trip to the store. YUMMMMMM
How is Cody doing???? Poor guy....But I know you are super spoiling him..lol
Hang in there sweety! This too shall pass.
LOVE YA BUG
lynn:D

It is so funny that its Monday and I don't even remember posting that little bit on Friday! I was just reading along and was like...hunh?? Thats Fagan for not thinking I am a doorknob but where did that come from?? *Snort*

I do feel better. It was a nice weekend but it seemed to go by so quickly. We had our end of the year staff party for the boatline and it was nice. It was all Hawaian(sp) and we had yummy food and good music. It really was a nice night. I had a couple of drinks but nothing over the top. I enjoyed myself greatly and we'll just have to see what happens next year :)

I really need to start focusing on how to work exercise into my routine. I have all these great thoughts and intentions and then they never amount to anything. I think I really need to just get up and do it!!! I didn't see a drop in weight this week so I want to switch things up. I KNOW i am not being as diligent as I should be! I had a couple halloween snacks, some non diet sodas and too many snacks at the year end party!!

I have to keep up with my water intake (got a brand new cooler) and start to do some exercise atleast 3 times a week!! This is something I know I can do I just got to get back at it.

Thank you everyone soooo much for sticking by me the last little while. Especially the last few weeks. Its been crazy and frustrating and I know with all my personal crap that is going on its been hard to focus on me~!! I just have to do it and know that it is okay!!

Love you all!
Shan

I'll tell you the same thing my mother told me. Our lives may be falling apart around us, but Shan, this is something that we're doing for ourselves, and that's okay. Because if we are happy with ourselves and our decisions, those that love us and surround us will be happier for it.

Hope things get better soon!

Momma D

Thanks for popping in MD...things are going ok. Started the day off rotten but doing much better now! I swear I must be hitting my TOM because I am just on one hell of a roller coaster!

Glad to see u here =)
Shan

The time has come to end this journal. I tried starting anew with a new journal and I think i really need to shed all of the past.

For those who are up to it and looking for me please come visit me at beetle baby steps.

Love to you all!
Shan