So far I have been making promises to myself and breaking them all. I'm not making promises anymore. I'm not planning anymore. From now on I am going to make decisions. Everything comes down to choices. I think I am off on an ok start. So far I have been aware of:

1. Walking when I can
2. Taking the stairs instead of the elevator.
3. Eating at home, not at resturants.
4. Not drinking sodas.
5. How much I really do smoke.

When I started posting on this site I said I wanted to be healthy. I do, but more important to myself I don't want unneeded fat on my body. So to make it through I am going to have to change my lifestlye and thinking process.

So to make it through I am going to have to change my lifestlye and thinking process.

Good for you. That is exactly what it takes to make ourselves healthier.

I wish you great success in making those changes.

Keep smiling =

It's fantastic that you have established that state of mind! Remember if it feels overwhelming that you can work on changing one thing at a time. We're rooting for you!!

So I have added one more thing t the ever growing list of things that take up my time. I got a job, I had to. So now everything comes down to time management. Which I really want to start losing weight. I had two friends jokingly (still gets to me even if they weren't serious) call me fat. Arrgghhh! Either I am a little chubby and people comment or I start to lose weight at a consistent pase an people ask me if I eat. I can't win either way.

So today I finally get myself straight. Following the advice of many websites, I a week in advanced, pick today the 27th to quit smoking. I hvae so far gone 3 hours with no cigarette. Which is amazing because I am a chain smoker. I am proud of myself for making this decision.. It will probably set me back in the losing weight goal. But I'd rather be fat and a non-smoker, then fat and being a smoker.

WTG V.(can't rem.screen name)thats great to quit smoking,my quitting date was April 9th of this year,it's a tough one but you can do it,it is so worth it I feel so much better for it.In that time since April I had 3 slip ups,meaning I hit 1 cig.2x's on 3 different occassions,and each time it tasted nasty,I'm not going to lie and say the cravings completely go away because as of yet I once in awhile get a craving but they are getting few and far between,I know now that I can do without those nasty things once and for all,I truly wish you luck.

Don't worry about what your friends say or think even family will tend to put in their two cents,but as long as you know that your doing the right things for you that is all that matters.We are the same person whether we weigh 200 or a buck 10,I too let people bug at me for the longest time but only WE have the power to change us,I think people probably get tired of me talking diet/exercise but it is my life,I think it only tends to really bother people who aren't able to take control over their own lives.So that is my best advice is to not sweat the small things,you know what will make you happy so take action and be happy.You only have one you so make it the best you that you can live with.I think your plans sound good,and if you have a hard time fitting in exercise try maybe rising even as little as a half hour earlier to get in something each day,I myself think that exercise is the most important key to getting us on our way to our goal,I think when your doing that every day then good food choices shortly will follow.Of course its all in the power of our minds,and if we can remove the I can'ts to I believe I can,I know that I can,thats when good things start to happen.You have yourself a very good day and keep on keepin on.:)

We create the situations and we
give our power away by blaming
the other person for our frustra-
tions.No person,no place,and no
thing has any power over us for
"WE" are the only thinkers in our
mind.
~unknown~

Vulgarian: So glad you started a journal. When we make promises to ourselves, it is SO easy to let "US" down. I don't know why that is. But take it easy... one day at a time. You have your goals written down and that is a great start.

So the non-smoking didn't go exactly as plan. I didn't quick completely today. But I did make progress. I went from smoking a pack a day (20 cigs) to smoking 9 today. Anybody who smokes, tried to quit, or have quit know that is a sucess. Being able to cut it down to less then half of what I smoked before is a sucess.

Wtg,your so right you did very good only 9 is great maybe try to make it one less each day,I'm cheering for you,you can do it.

Your chances in any undertaking
can always be measured by your
belief in yourself.
~Robert Collier~

So, I am incredibilty motivated. Tomorrow I start my serious diet and exercise routine. So what finally brought about this change? Today I got asked if I were pregnant. Because the person who asked has noticed I have gain 25lbs in the past 5 months. I am not totally upset about this. I am just finally aware of how much I have gained. Recent photos of me have made me so self conscious. I don't like that I have gain weight. So my plan:

I am going to start to south beach diet. Here is how it will work: I don't eat any carbs or sugar for the first two weeks. This is so my body can be cleansed of toxins and all of the junk food I have been eating. I am actually looking forward to feeling better and more upbeat because I am eating healthier foods.

I have come up with a daily exercise routine and a 4x a week routine.

Daily:
200 crunches
stretching
I plan to start to do yoga

4x a week:
3 miles walking
weightlifiting

I don't really think any of this is unmanagable. I just may have some difficulty fitting in time for it. But I am determind to find time.

That same thing also happened to me,a nieghbor asked my hubby not me,if I was pregnant again?So of course he couldn't resist coming home and telling me this.Then about 2 weeks later when I was bowling a woman on my league came up and put her hand on my belly and asked me when my baby was due,I tell ya at first I thought she was joking because I always joked about being fat(I guess it was better than crying for me)then I looked at her and knew she really thinks I'm pregnant,I knew now shes going to be embarassed I really felt for her now,I just laughed it off and said I'm not pregnant I'm just fat,that poor woman was so embarassed just as I knew she would be.After that she made it a point to talk to me every week,she was a very nice woman and I made it a point from there on to suck in my gut even if it hurt lol but seriously outside of my doctors scale that was my turning point and I think when I see that woman again I'm going to tell her thank you.Your plans sound very good and don't worry about finding time because if its something you truly want than time will happen,its all about you now and you are worth it.


Do not let what you cannot
do interfere with what you
can do.
~John Wooden~

I lost 5 lbs. It makes me happy. I bought a bike today ride everywhere on. So those pounds will be coming of. I think I will weight myself every two weeks so I don't become obsessed with the scale.

Way to go losing 5 lbs! That's fantastic! I have to admit that I said I would give up the scale, and never did. But I don't take it as seriously anymore and I use Tuesdays now as my official weigh in day.

Keep up the good work hun!

WEll my bike idea was good in theory, but in practise a bit more difficult. I don't mind riding it around town as far as the exercise goes. Biggest problem is the cars on the road. MY town isn't very bike friendly. After having an idiot in a car come within a foot and half close to me I have decided to not ride my bike as primary transportation. There are safe places that I can ride it though, so thats is when I will ride it.

I find myself being impatient when it comes to weight loss. I know it takes a lot of time. I just can't help getting frustrated though when I see no improvements. What worst is I blame myself for feeling this way because I'm not doing everything that I can.

So I find myself in an undesirable situation. Not only am I now fat but defiantely single. The fiance and I called it quits. I'm not even sure why, but there is nothing I can do to change it. He says he has to deal with his internel problems and the only way he can do that is alone. Damn it, I give up. I made up so many suggestions so I just took the hint and its over. Apperently he wants to be single, and its out of my hands.

But it does give me motivation though. In that bitter sense. To drop weight, get myself in order and flaunt it around that he can no longer have me. Gives me a drive that I haven't had before.

I understand where you are coming from - anger and/or hurt can really be turned into a positive driving force :D

Thanks Beth

I just thought when one person in a relationship is struggling with themselves you help them. You an your partner get through it together. Now I see that he was just a boy trying to be a man. And quite honestly, he is the first guy that came across my path that showed interest. I guess at the time I didn't have much self esteem. And now what I did have has been lower even more. But no more. I don't want anymore boys or to settle. I want a man who knows himself and where life is taking him. Not someone who asks me to marry him and now doesn't even know why. Except that at the time it "felt right". I'm done with the bull****. And now I get to start over with my life. It has really been eye opening.

how are you doing ?