I guess my last journal was taken down. I've started on my diet and I'm terrified. Today is day one. I weighed myself and I'm heavier than I ever have been - it's discouraging and makes me want to quit already. But I'm going to push through this and do the best I can.

I hope somewhere along the line, I've discovered willpower. Please let this work.

try not to be too discouraged. WHen i began my diet 3 weeks ago, i felt exactly the same way. its hard to be optimistic when your at the heaviest youve ever been, but trust me, it will get better. youll feel better much sooner than you think! if you ever need support feel free to message me. i wish you luck!

i know how u feel. i had enough when i got to be the heaviest i had ever been. its a struggle but eventually we will get there.

Hang in there Alice you can do it and there are lots of nice ppl here to help. We all need help
with this issue. Don't give up I haven't and I was heavier than you. You can do it.

Thanks for everyone's support.

So far it's going okay - the food I'm on is pretty blah... I don't like brown rice but it's about the only starch I can eat right now. Though I have discovered on my diet that I can have tobasco sauce - so that's going to help big time.

I've also decided that I'm going to let myself have one cheat day a month. I'm hoping it'll help get any cravings out, and that maybe after eating "bad" for a day, I'll notice how much worse I feel when I'm not eating right.

*crosses fingers* I really hope it sticks this time. Though as a confession - I have a side reason for this too. My primary goal is to be healthier, but my best friend (male) is coming home from the Navy for *good* in December. He and I have recently realized we may have feelings for eachother. I'd love to shock him with a healthier body when he comes home.

You will get there, Alice!

I live in a southern suburb of Chicago. I'm waving to you because I don't think you'd be able to hear me above the cicadas.

The first few days are the hardest! Congratulations on beginning your weight loss journey. The road will lead you to better health! If you plan, buy and eat healthy you will do fine. Have a plan for when your willpower is not strong....plan what you will do instead of eating. Take one day at a time and one pound at a time and they will both add up!! Best wishes!!


* One variety of cicada emerges from the ground every 17 years. They are a big bug with wings and red eyes. In our area there are over a million per acre and they are quite loud.

Hi Alice -

Not only did I start this week (again), I also have 60 lbs to lose after I was in shock of being the highest weight ever last week myself. Hang tough - I'll do the same.

Carson in Kentucky

Wow. I am so very glad I stumbled upon this site. It amazes me how much the support of others really does help.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Hello Alice,

WELCOME TO DIETTALK .. I just saw your Journal and decided I would stop by .. my name is Monica and like you I'm a part of this wonderful WEIGHT LOSS FAMILY ...

You will find this site offers you much in SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT .. if I can ever be of any assistance, please let me know. Always, Monica

This is probably stupid to be this upset about, but I'm going to vent here so I don't smack someone in person.

A lady at my work that is overbearing and way too much of a control freak, threw out my water bottle after I left work. I got in this morning, excited to fill it up and start drinking my 64 oz. And it was gone. She was the only one here after I left, so I know it had to be her.

I just want to scream.

I was just talking to my best friend on the phone, and a revelation dawned on me.

I've been having pretty bad nightmares for a few days, which is unusual for me. After talking with him about the timing, I realized that they started the day after I started my diet.

Has this happened to anyone else? Is it my body and/or my mind adjusting to the new food intake? Will this go away?

I know this isn't about dieting - but it is about my overall health.

I think I have an abcessed wisdom tooth. *sigh* I am terrified, completely terrified of the dentist. But today I made an appointment to go to the dentist. I know it may seem silly, that it isn't a big deal. But for me, this is a huge deal. I haven't been in probably 5 years.

When thinking about just avoiding the dentist and hoping it would go away on it's own, it reminded me how much of a parallel that was to my weight. For all of my adult life, I've been upset, even in pain because of my weight - and there was a part of me that just hoped it would magically go away somehow, without facing my fears and putting in work to become healthy. Since I've made this big first step with my weight, why not for my teeth's health too? So I called and have an appointment on Wednesday. Time to face my fears and just do it.

Maybe it won't be as bad as I think. Maybe this will be the first step to me getting somethings fixed and finally being able to smile and not be embarrassed because my teeth aren't as white as I'd like. I am petrified... but I can do this too.

Good Morning Alice, :wn

I so understand how it is .. I often feel the same way when I have a doctor's appt. When I was younger (20's, 30's and 40's) the only time I ever saw a doctor was when I was pregnant or I had a VERY BAD COLD (when I was in college because I didn't take care of the cold I had bronchial pneumonia -- after that I soon learned to go the minute I noticed the signs) now I have to go every 3 to 6 months (depending on my blood sugars) .. so while I can totally understand I do say imho that you should be checked out before it becomes more critical ...

You're doing great by BEING SO CAREFUL ... just remember this journey takes time and patience and WE ARE WELL WORTH THE TIME AND PATIENCE IT TAKES. I am as always, Monica

Hello and welcome to DT Alice,1st things 1st this is your journal and you can write down anything your heart desires,now secondly....now my motherly instinct is coming out lol so sorry ahead of time (I have 6 kids) my son had an absess in his mouth not his tooth but he thought maybe it was in his teeth,his mouth began to swell so I told him to get his butt to the dentist(hes 20 so don't always like to listen)so he did and of course the dentist gave him antibiotic and told him to come back in 2 weeks,well after taking the medicine for 2 days his lips started to swell good going into his cheeks and nose,so we went to the emergency room again they gave us different antibiotics,well by the next day he was almost unrecognizable his nose was huge and lips and cheeks,it almost looked like he was going to explode.So back to the hospital we went they admitted him right away put him on IV antibiotics,also had to drain the absess.The next day the specialist came in and said its a good thing we got him in because the infection was headed to his brain.So see not trying to scare you but don't fool around at all with an absess because they really can lead to death.See sorry thats why I apoligized 1st lol anyways my son is as good as new after 4 days in the hospital plz don't put it off.


Plus wtg to you for wanting to make the best decision in your life to lose weight and be healthy you will love this site and all the support you get from it,I look forward to being here with you while we all shrink together,good luck and keep on keepin on.

Thanks for your support.

Yeah, I know that abcesses aren't to be fooled around with. I did make an appointment for Wed, that was the earliest they could get me in. It's not bad now - but I want to nip it in the bud before it gets bad. Like I wish I had done with my weight.

Hello well good I am glad you have an appt.yah my son's wasn't bad at 1st either he let it go for a bit before he told me the bonehead lol.I hear ya all too loud by wishing that we could have nipped the weight before it got where its at,but the good thing is that is what you are doing now so good for you,you have made the 1st steps to a more healthier smaller you and I look forward to continueing this journey with you,take care and keep on keepin on.

Yay! I've lost 9 lbs. I know this is my first week on the diet, so the loss is higher than it will be from now on. But it feels nice to have a jump start like this. :jn

:cheer::cheer:Yahhhhhhh wtg girl you are doing excellent what a wonderful 1st week, now I am looking so forward to seeing what my 1st week back is going to do lol.You have a reason to cheer doesn't it feel great?Alrighty I am outta here you take care and make it a great day remember to keep on keepin on.

Thanks Minnie! I really appreciate the encouragement. Good luck with your week too!

great job on the 9 pound loss:1stprize:

Great going on your weight loss you are doing great. Audrey

Now that I'm getting used to the new diet, I've started my exercise routine. I didn't want to start it while I started the diet because I felt it would be too much change at once - and I knew I'd fail at one or the other. So I'm slowly starting to work it in.

Today I did pilates - and oh my god am I excited. The 45 mins of exercise went by so quickly and I feel insanely relaxed now. I'm going to pilates every other day so that my muscles get the rest they need to heal and grow.

On the days I'm not doing pilates, I'm going to go back to DDR... or Dance, Dance Revolution for those that don't know. It's a video game - you've probably seen it before, everyone dancing on these pads on the floor. I do this because it's great aerobic work, its fun and it keeps track of your exercise. There is an exercise mode and it keeps track of calories burned, your weight and time. Plus, when you're done with your exercise for the day - it tells you your equivalents compared to other exercise you could have done - like how many miles it would have been running, how many laps swimming, how many jumps on a jump rope, etc.

If any of you find exercise boring and/or uninteresting - I'd highly recommend getting a DDR set. They now make ones that plug directly into your TV so that you don't have to buy an Xbox or Playstation 2.

All in all, I feel great right now. And I'm excited to weigh myself on Monday. My goal for this week has been 3 lbs. *crosses fingers* I did cheat after my dentists appointment, and although I'm disappointed in myself, I now can see without doubt that my poor eating was 90% emotionally driven. So while I did slip up, it's nice to have the reminder that I know what the problem is. And knowing is half the battle. ;)

Oh, one more thing - I made a weight loss virtual model online. It's a virtual representation of me in a bathing suit now, and what I will look like when I get to my goal of 170. I printed it out and hung it up on my fridge. It has stopped me twice now from going to grab something when I really wasn't hungry.

Hello Alice,I see you did the opposite of me,I started exercising 1st oh for almost a month before I changed my eating habits all together,actually this works for me because I figure if I am trying to burn calories why add extra that my body don't need.Whatever works for you is the best route to go though It does feel so good to get moving now doesn't it?Wtg to you you are off and running for that goal,don't worry about 1 bad moment its many that gets us into trouble and its definitely not all about the food we really do need to take a deep look inside ourselves to realize why we binge your so right.I too have played around and made one of those virtual images but my printer isn't working so if anything else it kept me from eating while making it lol you have yourself a great day,keep on keepin on.

Thanks Minnie.

Yeah, I really think that not beating yourself up over one mistake is half the key to dieting.

6 more pounds gone! :1stprize:

Hi Alice --

Hey, not fair. We were losing the same amount of weight at one point. :laugh:

Congratulations and keep going!

Sorry KYFeller... I'd offer to slow it down, but no way.

My nutritionist is happy with the loss, and has warned me again that I might hit a plateau sooner than later since my loss has been larger than he expected. But he looked over my food diary and said I was doing great - he half expected me to not be eating very much. So apparently my body just really likes this diet. *keeps fingers crossed*

My best friend, the one I'm in love with - and the one who is in love with me, is now in like with a girl he met while far away in the Navy. We decided not to date until he's home... but it's so hard to know that he's got some girl he's taking out now and then. I know he's not emotionally attached to her yet, but a lot can happen in a year.

I'm depressed. And I'm trying not to turn to food to comfort me.

Hey Alice, how did it go with the dentist? Is your tooth okay?

I know what you mean about the dreams. It doesn't happen (that I've noticed) when I change my eating habits so much as when I am working out regularly - I have very long, involved dreams. Mind/body connection????

Sorry to hear about the anxiety re: your friend's casual girl in the Navy. That must be tough, to be separated for so long when your feelings for each other are growing, and knowing there is someone else on the back-burner. I hope you're feeling a bit better about it today...

I have an appt on Aug 3rd to get my teeth yanked. But, the dentist made me feel comfortable there - which is a first.

And thank you for your understanding about my stupid love life. It is hard - but I have to keep reminding myself that I'm just lucky to have his friendship, regardless of what happens between us.

I feel like an idiot.

I weighed myself tonight because curiosity got the better of me. Typically I weigh myself first thing Monday morning, when I'm tired and groggy. As I'm looking at the pounds I notice them fluctuating a lot. Then it dawns on me, I should probably be weighing myself on a hard surface, and not on the friggin carpet. :laugh:

And while I'm still pretty sure that I've lost the amount of weight I've lost, I've now found out that I am 13 lbs. lighter than I thought. Which is a good thing & gives me that much more hope that I can reach my goal weight. Although my ego has taken a bruising from this silly mistake.

So I'm going to change my stats by my name and guess that my starting weight was 13 lbs lighter as well. Feel free to laugh, I'm not really upset about it... and trust me, I'm laughing myself. Gave my mom a good laugh as well.

Hope everyone is well.

Lol Hi Alice well I am very happy for you that you had 13lbs that you did not have to deal with lol I would love that to be the case with me but nope mine is right as docs is the same too lol you have yourself a great day make it your best,keep on keepin on,I'll be back....

Hey Alice, I'm going to go ahead and congratulate you on the 13 pounds. :) Even though you think it was an error, not a loss, it's still 13 pounds you don't have on your body. Huzzah! :cheer:

Glad it went well with the dentist and he made you feel comfortable. Hope those nightmares go away...

That's great mistake or not you still lost the weight. You are doing great keep it up you are doing great.

My best friend just emailed me to let me know he's officially dating someone out in VA. I hate this so much. I'm at work and I can't stop crying.

Oh Alice.... :(

I'm so sorry.

Okay Alice...I really did find your journal this time!

I'm sorry to hear about your friend dating someone else. :( Spend some time here. We'll support you and although it can't replace what you're missing in your heart it can be so comforting. :console:

Thanks guys. It's really okay - we had decided to date other people until he's home for good. It was just a rough day to find out... it was harder than I expected. Though we've talked a lot since then and I know he's not looking for anything serious. He said he told her that he's not going to be staying in VA and he's not bringing her back to IL with him.

I'm going to a fair on Tuesday and I've decided that I'm going to let myself cheat that day. I've done *so* well on my diet and I think it's okay to eat something deep fried one night. I'm not going to gorge myself, but I am going to eat something not on my diet. That, plus the fact that we'll be walking so much & that I'm making the decision ahead of time, instead of just giving into a craving makes me feel okay about it. After all, this is a lifestyle change - and I know down the road once I've reached my goal weight, I will be eating things that aren't good for me here and there.

Anyway, I hope everyone's had a great weekend. My next weigh-in is tomorrow morning... keep your fingers crossed for me please!

Thanks Alice for the info. I am sorry to hear about your trouble. BUT lool at the bright side your losing weight Whoo Hoo. I am here if you need a friend I went through this same thing just different states. You hold your head up girl and be happy . Keep workig toward your goal.

Hello! Sorry to hear about your friend but its good hes not planning anything serious and will be returning alone. Your doing so good. Have fun at the fair.

Lost 5 more lbs!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!
I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND YOU SHOULD BE SO PROUD OF YOURSELF!!!
KEEP IT UP!! WE CAN DO THIS
:cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer:

Thanks Char! Everyone's support is really helping me stick with this. I don't know what I'd do without DT.

Hi Alice!

You're very welcome, you deserve the support and the congratulations!!! :jnI don't know what I would do without DT either! Did I read that you see a nutritionist? I'm just curious as to what your daily food diary looks like. I hope you don't mind me asking. :) If you do mind me asking - just ignore me! LOL

Hi Alice!

You're very welcome, you deserve the support and the congratulations!!! :jnI don't know what I would do without DT either! Did I read that you see a nutritionist? I'm just curious as to what your daily food diary looks like. I hope you don't mind me asking. :) If you do mind me asking - just ignore me! LOL

No, not a problem at all. If you want to PM me your email address, I've transferred all my diet stuff into Word and Excel. I'm a dork and I hated their layout, so I had to do it myself so I wouldn't get frustrated looking at their idea of a "chart".

Whoa hoo girl you lost another 5lbs that is super.

Thanks Minnie!

Hi Alice - I sent you a pm. :D

I sent you an email. ;)

Congrats on the 5 pounds lost:1stprize: It always feels good seeing the scale going down. Keep strong.

I got the email...I replied but just in case you don't recognize it and delete...THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :D

I did not stick to my diet well at all this week. I let myself get off track because of the holiday and didn't get right back on it. So I'm not expecting any weight loss tomorrow.

But I am getting back on the diet, well I did as of this morning. I'm not letting one week discourage me from being healthy. Also, I got a sunburn so bad that my shoulders blistered a little... so exercise was not an option as *every* movement hurt. I could hardly stand the pain of taking my dog for a short walk. I'm hoping in a few more days, it won't hurt to move my arms so I can start exercising again.

Okay...here I come dragging you by the arm (oh no not the arm - sunburn on your shoulders!!)...LOL So you had an off week. You're doing such a fantastic job one week is just that...one week! :D Glad you're back on track as of this morning!! :)

Gained a pound. :(

Ouch! The sunburn sounds awful! Aloe, ice and aspirin... I don't think you're supposed to use Solarcaine on broken (blistered) skin? Hope it's feeling better today. The gym will still be there when you're ready... and last week? Gone. Over. This is a new week, and that pound will leave as quickly as it came. Sending nice healing thoughts toward your shoulders. :)

Hi Alice -

Yes, don't let the sunburn get you offtrack. That was my problem in '03 when I went on my diet before this one. I was doing well until an ice storm knocked my power out for a whole week (Feb '03). I never did get back on track until last month. Don't let the unexpected jolt keep you from continuing as it did me a few years ago.

Gained a pound. :(

Oh it could be just water weight!! YOU'RE DOING FABULOUS....KEEP GOING!!! :D