Well I couldnt find my old journal :( so i thought id start another one!

Last time I left off was about a year ago - Novemeber 2006. Now its July 2007. When I left off, i was around 160.. Now I am back up to 190. Ugh.

No excuses, but i have been through some emotional times these past months, which made my eating go out of control. But now i realize that i MUST do something about this weight issue that has been with me my whole life. I recently have gotten out of a bad BAD relationship that was horrible for me. And, now I am feeling fresh, feeling alive and feeling like i can do anything. So now is the time! I can do this I know it!

Last time I was on South Beach Diet. Which is AWESOME! I will be following that diet again, with a bit more slack, but not much! I walk everyday - as i used to a year ago, for about 45 minutes a day. Which is about 4-5kms. I am going to attempt to start running.. though i have been saying that since the dawn of time lol... but im going to be doing the running 13 week program. Hopefuly it will be succesfull!

I also plan on travelling europe in March, so I need to get in shape so that i can actualy wear a bathing suite in greece and be PROUD to be me! :)

So i will post my eating and exersize daily (hopefully) and if something is pissing me off, i will post that too :) lol..

Today's eating was a bad start, but its that bad start that lead to me being PISSED off, then to me laying down the LAW and getting back on track.

B: 3/4 cup of special k & 1 cup skim milk
S: 1/3 cup peanuts
L: 2 peices of pizza :o
S: individual yogurt cup - no sugar
D: chicken stirfy with veggies and reduce salt soy sauce :D

I drink a LOT of water daily.. so that is a good start!

I walked for 45 minutes at lunch and for an hour after work!

Anyways, here we go again, and i can do it! Hopefuly i will get some help along the way from anyone here :)

:)

Hello! Glad to see you came back and have a plan all laid out. Im sorry you were in a bad relationship but glad your free now and on to discover many new happier times. Best wishes on your journey and glad to meet you.

:) Thanks for stoppping by angel eyes!

I didnt update yesterday, man off to a bad start with this udpating, but ill update now!

B: yogurt and nuts (was in rush)
S: nothing
L: chicken stirfry (leftovers from thurs night)
S: skim milk cheeesetring mm
D: halibut and veggies mmm

I did go out drinking and did have a couple vodka soda limes, but thats not too bad eh! hehe..

I didnt walk yesterday as i was feeling a little ill.. but will walk today extra longer! I havent weighed myself since last week.... and idont plan on weighing myself for at least another week. That was my weakness last time, weighing myself everday, its evil i tells ya, EVIL!

Todays food so far has consisted of

B: WW bagel w/ scrambeled eggs
S: nothing
L: salad w/ veggies and balsamic vinager dressing

and that leads me to now. I plan to have bbq'd chicken kebabs tonight for dinner with veggies! YUM! gotta love the summer bbqin'!

Off for a walk!

:)

Yes i love the summer and the food on the grill. its healthier and tastier. My aunt grills yr round. She will literally be outside in the snow using her grill. I should try that but hubby wouldnt go for it since he does the grilling here.

Ok so jeesh, i am really bad at this.. i get motivated and then nothing... it just falls apart and im back eating 4 chocolate bars and a bag of chips, burgers and fries and pasta.... that was my weekend, food food food and beer. sometimes i just want to give up and accept that i will be big forever... sigh.

Alright.... this is it.. i am fed up... if i cant do this.. i cant do anything, and i dont want to fail... i can do this....

no lies about todays food. here it is.
Breakie - good start off - 2pce turkey bacon, 2 boiled eggs
snack - 100g FF no sugar added yogurt...sweet and salty nature valley bar ughhh..
lunch - homemade turkey chili and a small bag of chips UGGHHH
snack- ANOTHER sweet and salty nature valley bar... ohhhh SIGH SIGH SIGH.
dinner - mac n cheese... could it get any worse..? nope

i did however walk today for 45 minutes and did 40 minutes of pilates. but i doubt iburned off all the crap i ate today...

tomorrow is another day... sigh... does anyone else feel like this is just an endless game.... why cant i buckle down again and get this done for good. ive wanted to be thin my whole life...infact the only thing ive ever wanted, is to be thin... but i cant seem to do it... WHY ! WHY! WHY!! *tear*!!!!!

:(

Hey Sunkissed! :wave: Just thought I'd drop by and welcome you to your new journal, and offer some support for the whole motivation thing. I know how you feel. I wish I had a magic motivation wand. I'd be waving it all over the place - my own journal in particular. :laugh:

Sorry you went through some rough times lately. I totally understand how a bad relationship can run a person off the fitness rails. Hey, life happens and emotional eating happens, too. BUT you've proven you can do this, and you've found a plan you like, so now it's all about getting back up each time you fall off the wagon. If you keep getting up, eventually you'll be "up" in your good habits way more than you're "down" with the beer and chocolate bars. So.... the weekend is history. I hope this week is better for you. Here's to you and your new healthy attitude. Hang in there!

Thank so much for the support anne! i really appreciate it! today was a great eating day! and i am very happy about it! i turned away choclate bars, iced caps, and granola bars! woot WOOT!

Breakie - 2 egg omelet w/ LF cheese/red pepper/red onion
Snack - 100 G FF No sugar added yogurt
Lunch - Homemade turkey chili
Snack - 1/3 Cup of unsalted peanuts (eep more then i wanted...)
Dinner - Salsa chicken w/ salad & tsp of italian dressing!

I bought a scale today, so i am ON TRACK. weighed in at 190 which is what i knew i would weigh in, but still got sad about it. My goal weight is 145, but anyting is better then 190 lol...

I went for my 40 minute walk today, and was going to attempt to start running tonight, but i forgot my running sheos at work :(. I will do my pilates tonight and perhaps go for another walk. I gota step up the fitness area!

I can do it, i can do it, i can do it!!

Hi Sunkissed!

I HAD to post in your journal... I mean, you mentioned that you're going to be in Greece, which is where I live :) So of course I have to introduce myself :) We do have lovely beaches here, do you have any idea where you're going to be? I was just on an island this Saturday, swimming in the sea... it was so lovely -- skipped the beach and found some smooth rocks to sun myself on. Anyway, KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE GOAL! We can reach our goals together! (My goals are kind of amorphous at the moment, I think I want to weigh 135 or 150 pounds but what I really want is to have a low body fat percentage, since I think that's more important than the weight.) Do you belong to a gym? I love my gym, I can't imagine life without it (and only about 8 months ago I would have said you were crazy if you suggested I would go to a gym.)
Best wishes from Greece :) N.

OH NO WAY YOU LIVE IN GREECE! I AM TRES JEALOUS!! i am oh so very excited to visit your beautiful islands!! i dont belong to a gym cause im not so much a gym fan.. too many poeple :( But i might be joining one soon.. ill have to think more abou it!

and ill be going to Ios i think its called and anywhere else i can get to, i want to see the WHOLEEEEE country!! and the rest of europe! but i want to look HOT! u guys are so stylish and hot over there lol

Today was a good day, too muggy, but good eating day!!

Breakie - glass of V8 and some nuts (bad breakie i know oops)
Snack - 100g FF no sugar added yogurt
Lunch - salsa chicken and mini carrots
Snack- black coffee (sooo tireedd)
Dinner - chicken ceaser salad w/ lite salad dressing (i made the salad)

I walked my 40 minutes and played some softball, though softball isnt exersize really lol... i was going to do my pilates but it is soo muggy that im already sweaty and i dont feel like rolling in sweat lol!!

Feeling good now, was frustrated earlier about my weight, but i feel now that i can do this!!! :)

Sun,

Nice to see you getting this wonderful fresh start, and wow, what a reward in March, to travel to Greece, lol, and now you have a fellow diettalker to go meet!!!

Keep up the good work. You can do this!!!

Can't resist a bit of advice: One big thing I have learned here is that when you mess up don't spend very long beating yourself up. Let the mistakes go and keep moving forward. Learn from the mistake if you can but then let it go.

Well, not to worry, Ios is extremely beautiful in March (well, all year except in July and August it is completely out of control with drunken party people -- but that is the exception, the rest of the time it's beautiful) but very very quiet!! Not a lot of permanent residents! I can definitely help you out with your island plans if you like, since going to the islands is one of my lifetime pursuits LOL. Just thought I should mention though... not to be a downer... but March isn't warm enough in the water to swim yet, it's not usually cold and you can definitely wear skimpy clothes but I don't think you'll want to be swimming (although you ARE from Canada.. maybe I'm underestimating you! heheheh).

Anyway, what a great motivator! I should send you some photos from the islands I've been to this year to get you even more motivated LOL.

A tip on your fat-free no sugar added yogurt, that I LOVE: I eat this almost every day: add 1 packet of Sweet n' Low and a few drops of vanilla extract to 0% fat unflavored yogurt (the kind without fruit and other junk). It adds about 3 calories but makes it oh so much more delicious. Treat yourself to Greek yogurt if you like :D

I understand about too many people at the gym... I sometimes get frustrated when I have to wait for equipment -- but just today I found out my gym is going to be closed August 10 -20 for vacation and I almost burst into tears. Honestly I'm terrified. I don't know what I'm going to do for ten days. I'm making my BF take me to the fitness equipment store this weekend so I can buy some basics. I'm thinking some dumbells, a yoga mat, and a large medicine ball. I already have a heavy resistance cord. Can you non-gym people give me any more cheap home workout ideas?

BTW I think nuts are okay -- I always choose almonds, they taste good and they are I think better for you than most others. Supposedly they have healthy fats, and you need healthy fats.

Speaking of fat, my trainer was telling me today that because she doesn't have enough body fat, she has to force herself to eat more in order to avoid burning her muscle mass and getting weak and tired. Poor girl, right? Hahahaha somehow I don't think that will ever happen to me.

hey ill swim in any water naus!! but i think we will be hittin greece around June for my birthday! whats the water like then??? skimpy clothes, i can only hope one day i can wear these so called skimpy clothes!!!
Hmm non gym work out ideas? walking, running, biking, kayaking, dancing... i dunno! pick something that makes ya sweat and something you enjoy! if you dont enjoy it u wont stick to it!

Naus, if i had to force myself to eat more i think i would be in heaven lol...

Crazy, thanks for the motivitation!! WOOOT! how are you doing?

Well i havent updated all weekend, because i am bad like that lol... but i ate alright! Did however have some pizza (ughhhh), around 4 peices UGHHHH, but thats ok thats ok brush it off brush it off!!!

I went white water rafting on saturday which was AWESOME! i LOVED it and recomend it to anyone! Since im young and crazy i went in the rowdy boat that got flipped 8 times in the glacier fed river haha.. i am nuts! so fun tho! The rafting was a lot of upper body workout which was nice, and the ice cold water im sure helped to burn some calories lol...

Ill start with my food intake again tomorrow, i ate lots of veggies, one piece of pizza and a slenderize fruit drink, so it wasnt a stellar day, nothing to brag about lol...

Hope everyone had an awesome weekend! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK ALL!

I hope to break 190 soon!

Today was an ok day, well i want to say good but it wasnt good enough to say good lol...

Breakie - Glass V8 juice , 2 pce turkey bacon
Snack - handfull of peanuts and 100g FF no sugar added yogurt
lunch - fire roasted tomato soup - 2 cupish
Snack - 5 peices of fresh pineapple MMM
Dinner - 3 peices of LF cheddar cheese and 1.5 cup of pea soup

Went for 50 minute walk today... might go for another one... will do pilates... i have a newer goal, january i am going to maui, hawaii... so i have to be in beach body shape by then!! gotta step up the game here!!

:)

MMM just went for a nice hour walk with the puppy! She is so hard to walk, tugging on the leash. I usualy walk her in the forest behind our house, but there has been so many bear sitings and talk about bears that im afraid now hehehe...

Anyone got any killer arm exersizes? I want nice toned arms!!!

Sounds like you have some awesome goals! Good for you and Good luck on your journey!! Remember just because you have one bad day doesn't mean to give up, keep going, you'll get there. Good work on the excersize!!

lovemyjeep - thanks for stoppin by, what kind of jeep do you have :)? i must say i do LOVE my jeep too!

Well today was a good day, well good minus a couple things lol...

Breakie - oatmeal (oops, was in rush..)
Snack - 100 g FF no sugar added yogurt
lunch - pea soup w/ some cheese slices
snack - pickles and sweet and salty nature valley bar (oops, just SO GOOD AHHH)
and uhhh half an aero choclate bar :( sighhhh sighhh, at least only half!!
Dinner - pesto chicken and half corn on cob

I just dont like eating much carbs or bready stuff cause it kills my stomache lately.. i might go in to get checked why that is... not to mention it makes me gain like 30 pounds overnight lol.

I walked 45 minutes at lunch, 15 minutes for break from work. and now im going to softball, though really not too much exerisize in that!

I havent seen the scale move yet :(... its really frustrating me.... i just want to see it move to know that i am on track... i just feel like a fat blob :(

Pickles are an awesome snack! They have to be one of the lowest cal foods out there. Oatmeal is good for you, so don't feel bad about eating it. I think your food plan looks good. The scale will move, especially with that puppy tugging you around all day!!

The bears sound cute! Scary, but still cute. They're cuddly right?

BEARS ARENT CUTE NAUS!! lol i actualy am terrified of them! they are massive 600 pound black beasts ready to attack at any minute lolllll... hahah

I love pickles, mm mmm mmm!

Didnt up date yesterday because well yesterday was nothing worth bragging about lol... and i topped it off with 5 beer... ohh man beer evil.. so evil....

so i wasnt suprised to see yet again that freaking scale has not moved.. it seemed so much easier last time, like the scale dropped instantly.. maybe i should find my old journal and see what i was doing differently.. hmmm

Todays food.

Breake - nature valley oats n honey bar (was in a rush)
snack - some mixed nuts and another granola bar sighhhh
lunch - some tomato soup and veggies and LF ranch to dip
Snack - some more nuts sighhh
Dinner - veggie soup with a tiny bit of rice noodles in it.. homemade..

nothing to brag about either... i did walk for 45 minutes at lunch, and have softball again tonight.. but as i say everytime, softball isnt really exersize...

I am going to Alaska this weekend just for the weekend... hopefuly i wont stray too much, tho alaskan halibut and chips are the best thing in the world lol.. so i will have to have that once! good thing i hate american beer!

Started booking my Maui trip, tho feel like cancelling because i dont want to wear a bathing suit in public :( ohh sighhh wohhh is meee :( lol....

hope everyons day is better then mine!

:)

I am just so randomly sad today. Well off and on, just so sad. And i had an amazing weekend - ate horible - but i had heaps of fun. I even met a guy that i thought was amazing - we will never see each other again cause he lives in the US and was just working here for the summer and left already.

Maybe thats why im sad? Sigh :( Not to mention that i stepped on the scale right now and it says 195. now i know that its not right, but im sure 192 is probably right... sighhhh :(

I wont even begin to explain the food ive eaten.. and food isnt accurate, more like the beer i drank. :(

it is so tough being young. and i get so frustrated and feel like giving up!! I just cant find a happy medium, i cant be young and party and have fun and eat healthy and still watch my weight.. it doesnt work.. its like i have to pick one... :(!!!!!!

siighhhhh :(

Hey sweetie, I know what you mean. I spent my ENTIRE youth being fat and super self-conscious. I was 25 (last year) when I said "enough is enough! - I want to be not fat for at least part of my remaining youth!" So yeah that does mean less drinking, but you can go out just as much - especially if you go dancing, that's great exercise! Red wine is a good alternative for other forms of alcohol because it's not super high in calories, it's actually good for you, and there's not that social pressure to drink a lot of it (like beer or shots or whatever).

Okay you need some serious cheering up! You are not going to get old in the next six months. You are going to get slimmed down, healthy, fit, hot, and then you are going to the Greek islands and other fabulous places to show off your new bod. No more moping! This is a good thing!!

Seriously though there is no way that every step of this journey is going to be fun and optimistic and filled with smiley faces. It's just the way life is. Visualize yourself at your goal. Let yourself take half an hour to feel sorry for yourself -- but then cut it out. Exercise, because it will make you feel better about EVERYTHING. Forget about the 195, most of that will be gone in two days. Stay on your program and be good darn it!

well im back. a month later... back on track yet again... im tired of saying that and not going through with it... its gonna happen this time.... im so tired of being a fat WHALE! :(

this time its ON.