I'll start by saying Hello to my friends and those who are new. I have visited dt a couple of times since my last post, but just lurked. I have now been smoke free for:

160 days, 16 hours, 6 minutes and 19 seconds smoke free.
4017 cigarettes not smoked.
$1,020.00 and 1 month, 16 hours of your life saved.

Isn't that AWESOME?? The problem is I have gained about 40 lbs. Sooo, now that I am pretty darn set in my quit, I can start working on this big ole body of mine. I think for some time I did use well I'm not smoking excuse to eat and eat and eat...trust me I did it alot. Also, didn't save a penny LOL, bought alot of Bath and Bodyworks stuff and redecorated my family room. LOL I was a mess that first few weeks, but doing great now.

As I said I have been gorging on food and treats. I haven't been drinking anything good for me..just Sprite. I need to turn that into water, which I think I can do. I really feel positive about this, I guess since I did quit smoking (sorry to keep bringing that up, but it was a major deal..I smoked for over 20 years over a pack a day) I feel I can do just about anything.

My back is still recovering from the seizures and my tongue is pretty messed up still, but I feel I can still at least watch my eating. My body is a mess right now weighing more than I have ever weighed before..probably more than my hubby weighs :( but now I have to conquer that. Especially emotional eating...my 16 yo daughter, Lacey just got her drivers license and it has been a bit scary. She hasn't driven that much but its still nerve wracking...Plus, the constant worry about more seizures, since they really don't know what happened. I am just living ONE DAY AT A TIME! I know the Lord will lead me in the right directions, when I ask for help.

I will post more in the morning. I am on new meds that make me either sleep constantly or not at all, and sometimes both LOL. I am sick of not getting a good sleep. Which has alot to do with my immobility.

I hope to be welcomed back. I have missed you all. We just had so much going on at one time, I couldn't keep up with anything.

Have a good night all!

A~

Alex, how wonderful to have you back posting. Congratulations on the non-smoking thing. Don't ever-ever-ever start again.

So plan out a way of eating that will accomplish what you want to accomplish. You know that you can get a lot of help here at Diettalk.

You can and will accomplish this. You know that and I know that.

Welcome home, Alex! Good to see you!

Congratulations on the not smoking! That is just great. When I quit smoking, that's when I put on the greatest amount of weight too. But you're right - you've put that behind you, now it's time to work on the weight. Swapping the Sprite for water is probably a good place to start.

Hope you have a great day tomorrow! :hug:

Welcome back Alex :wn ..

And what a wonderful accomplishment giving up SMOKING .. now that you've succeeded in quitting YOU WILL DEFINITELY MAKE PROGRESS in losing weight .. Take care my friend and I'm looking forward to reading about your ongoing successes .. Monica

Welcome back, hurray for you on the smoking. You can do it. Just get back into full swing, come and visit us more. Hurray, you are back.

A BIG congratulations on the no smoking, Alex! That's a very difficult thing to do and you should be really proud of yourself for your accomplishment. I think the weight gain is pretty common, but it's great that you came back here so you can have all the support that comes along with this place.

Congratulations again and have a great week!

> I haven't been drinking anything good for me..just Sprite. I need to turn that into water, which I think I can do.

There's various ways of tackling that which come to mind. How about:

- drinking from a glass, and "cutting" (diluting) the Sprite with 50% cold fridge water (+ ice cubes)? Not a huge step, but 'baby steps' will get you anywhere if you stick with it.

- and/or buy some 'lemon juice'. You're used to drinking 'tasty' water, but ought to be able to adapt yourself to ice water with a generous dash of lemon juice for taste (not so hugely different from Sprite imo). Don't add sugar unless you really, really need to (lemon juice + ice water should be just tart enough to taste vaguely like Sprite, without any help)

- you could try just drinking ice water at times, for a change of pace (with the eventual hope that plain ice water would suffice for most of your drinking needs)

As to your weight loss project as a whole, it usually comes down to emotions, and feeling good about yourself (look around for ways of being sure of this 24/7).

It's the emotions that typically end up sabotaging us most of the time, my feeling is that you need a plan you can live with and will stick to, in your life and your diet.

Good luck! Don't rush, and I'm sure you'll get there.

rD

what about diet sprite, i have drank diet drinks for yrs, but i think any diet lemon lime drink taste like the real deal, at least for me.

i also like the flavored waters, like the wal mart brands i love the black cherry. lemon etc.

Thank you all. I'm so sorry I didn't get on here this morning. I ended up sleeping most of the day X-( I am still really tired so we are going to call it a night very soon. I have weened myself off of the seizure meds and doing fine, I just need to get used to what I am taking now.

I think I'll start with diet Sprite as suggested. I drink Green Tea as well. I will get on sometime tomorrow, I have to bring my Dad to the dr. in the morning. I need to sit down and really come up with a "plan". I think I'm trying to jump into it without considering that this has to be a lifetime, not just to lose the lbs.

Thank you all!! I missed you too!

A~

Hello Alex! So glad to see you back. Congrats on the quitting smoking. Wish i could say the same. You will get the weight off. I have confidence in you. I have missed talking to you. I have been busy and got rid of my internet but i am using the public library and will still be posting so hope to hear from you. take care my friend and remember one day at a time.

Hi all. Sorry my responses were so slim last time I posted. I am about a nervous wreck and can't figure it out.

Anyway,

Jo: Thank you so much1 You are such a great supporter of me, you make me smile!!

Mel: I never thought I would quit smoking, I always was afraid of the weight gain..well it happened I gained weight LOL. Its something I am working on every day, and every day I get a little bit closer. Thank you so much for coming to my journal! I guess you really know how it feels to quit. I am working on the water thing still.

Monica: Oh how I have missed you!! I was so happy to see you here, thank you my friend!

small: Hey! I'm so glad you visited me. I am trying to make more time to get on the computer. I will start homeschooling the kids in about a month or so. So, the computers will be all tied up, but I'm going to manage to get on here at least once a day. I missed you!

Dj: Thank you for your support. It really does mean alot. Other than my children quitting smoking has been my greatest accomplishment.

r-D: I really like your suggestions. I think I'll do the diluting thing. Thank you for the support and the suggestions!!

judith: I do love the flavored waters. I actually picked some regular water up today. When I go grocery shopping I'll pick up the flavored ones. Thanks for the support and your suggestions. I was going to pick up diet sprite today and totally forgot...DUH!!!

Sandy: I have missed you too, my friend. We just had so much of the bad things coming our way that I was mentally exhausted. I hope everything is going good with you and of course that cute grandbaby of yours!! Hopefully soon (wishful thinking) the economy will get better and you can get the internet back!! Thank you for coming..

Well my boys are playing on the slip and slide I bought, and they want me to see them. Picture moment!

I'll try to come back later this evening..

A

Welcome back Alex,
A huge congratulations on being smoke free for over 160 days. I’m so proud of you. Just think with all that money saved, you can purchase some really nice Christmas presents this year. I’ll be sure and send you my list, so you can start shopping early, lol.

About the weight gain. I know that you will get it off. Just take it in one day at time. Remember we are all here for you. Glad to hear that your doing better since when you first quit smoking those nasty things.

Please anythime you want to talk about giving up smoking, I say do it. There are so many people in the world that are trying to quit and I feel that you’re a great example for them. You took a great step forward in your life, and I’m very proud of you.

I’m sorry that your having seizures, and having to deal with the worry of your daughter just starting to drive.

Hi Alex,

So glad that I found your journal!!! Great to have you back and that you are doing well. SUPER CONGRATULATIONS on quitting smoking!!! A tremendous achievement.

Will be back to cheer you on.

Hi Alex,
Welcome back to DT! A big Congrats on giving up smoking! I am sure that was a rough one at the start of it, but YOU DID IT!
Good luck on your journay!
...Hugs, Millie

Welcome back! It is great to see you smoke free! that is just wonderful.

I don't know if you remember but I quit 6 years ago before I lost 86 pounds. Then, 2 years ago I started up again for a few months and quit again...only to gain some excess baggage with it. It is WORTH it. It gives you the motivation you need to be healthy in all aspects of your life. It is certainly a great start to a wonderful and healthier life.

Have a wonderful weekend :)

I had a big post and lost it..trying to figure out the signature thingy too...I'll rewrite it tomorrow..I'm tired

Night all

I want to apologize to each of you that have been my supporters.

As you know I quit smoking in Feb. I really hoped and prayed that I wouldn't gain weight...I did...over 40 lbs. putting me oh so close to 250 lbs.X-( I am completely devasted and having a hard time coming to qrips with things.

Things are going awry at home. I am a nervous wreck. I do see the dr. on Aug 1. I hope thats soon enough. On Aug. 4 I celebrate 6 whole full months without one single drag! I won't smoke again...plus my little boy telling me how proud he is of me. NOW, I have to get working on this body, eating myself to death isn't going to help either.

When I hit 6 months of a smoke free life, I will start my new food life.

I know I'll hit some bumps, Heck I have 110 at least to lose. Just want to say I am sorry and I am still cheering you all on!!!!

Hi, Alex:

No need to apologize for anything. Just continue to be a nonsmoker, please!

And when you are ready for the losing weight challenge, you will start losing weight. Really you will. Every one of us has had our own struggles with the whole business, and we do understand.

Personally I quit smoking in 1969. And I gained weight as a result. Then when I was ready I lost weight.

Just relax, we are still your supporters. And we will continue to be your supporters!!!

Hey, Lovemyjeep, I'm not sure we've "met" before but just couldn't resist chimin' in also that there's no need to apologize to anyone for anything, lass.

T'is one o' the hardest things anyone can do to quit smoking and most people find it very hard indeed to try to manage weight at the same time, so in my opinion (unsolicited, I know :) ) ye have done a great thing 'n each part of the health project can be taken in turn, the weight part when you are ready, but stick with the nonsmoking, as I know you will do, as that is vastly important to both your general health and in the long run, your weight loss journey.

You've done a great thing. Be proud! :cheer:

Alex,
Their is no reason to apologize. You have done something so amazing, and I'm so proud of how far you've come. I know it in my heart when your ready you will get on track and loose weight. Sorry to hear that you've been a nervous wreck. That must of put a huge smile on yoru face when your son said how proud he is of you.

hugs,
Katherine

Hey baby girl, welcome back!

Dear Alex, :wn

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR .. and imho YOU'VE ACCOMPLISHED QUITE A BIT WITH STOPPING THE WEED .. as a former smoker I totally understand where you're coming from BUT just as it takes time to LOSE THE SMOKING HABIT .. it also takes time for us to SUCCEED ..

So you come back and POST OR just drop a line to let us know HOW YOU ARE and that's plenty .. I will always CARE :ghug: and I hope you know IF YOU EVER NEED ME .. I AM HERE FOR YOU .. Have and make it a great evening. Monica

I will reply to you all soon...yet another 2008 tradgedy in our family..
I know many don't feel this way about animals, but my Dads Maggie, was definetly family.
My dad has been alone for quite some time. He and my mother divorced about 7 years back, he lived with us because he was very sick for about 9 months. I had gone out and bought a Cocker Spaniel. Always wanted one heard they were awesome pets ect. Well over the 9 months that he lived with us, my Dad and "Maggie" had bonded. Unbelievably so that THE DAY AFTER he moved out she went to his room and he wasn't there, she searched the house and went flying out my screen door looking for him. This was no ordinary dog, she brought so much joy and love to my dad (who is 75) and he never felt alone. He took her everywhere..she passed away this morning. I still remember calling him that day and saying "Do you want a dog?" He had gone to SPCA that morning to look for one to adopt well one bit him, so needless to say he didn't get one. I was talking with my sister and we think a puppy is too much to handle and I don't know if he could another dog so quickly. We are going to take it slow..

Thanks all you, I so appreciate your support!!!

PS Amarantha it nice to meet you!!

Hello Alex! No need for apologies. We all have our ups and downs. It makes us human. I am so proud you quit smoking, now you can work on the weight loss. I know you can do it. I love animals and feel they are family members too. I have lost pets in the past and it hurts alot because we love them. take care and im cheering you on.

Awwwwwwwww! I'm sorry about your dad's loss.. :hug:

Alex, I am so sorry about your dad's doggie.

We love our pets, they are part of our families, losing one is very difficult.

I'm so sorry.

sorry about your dad's loss.. from what I read the dog Maggie was not very old??
Good for you quiting smoking... that is a major accomplishment.. Unfortunately I think we all gain weight once we quit.. My 41 year old quit last Aug and he has gained maybe 15 lbs... his brother is on his case to get it off..so he is working on that too..

Alex,

So sorry about Maggie, pets become such a big part of our lives it is always sad to lose them.

Also, no apologies needed, we are just glad you are back and with us again. You will do it. All in good time.

Thank you all for your kind words. I have been trying to keep myself together, kinda feel like I'm falling apart and I just CAN'T take anymore. LuLu, I am trying to guess this right, I think my parents were divorced longer than I thought, because Dad told me he and Mags were best friends for 8 years. So, my timing was off. Thank you all once again. Your all amazing.

I go see the dr. on Friday to see what we can do about this depression. I don't know what to do at this point. I get so angry and just can't control it, I'm not any at anyone or anything, so I pipe down and let it fester....which I know can't be good. We'll see what happens.

I plan on getting back on track soon. I don't think I'm going to just JUMP right into it. I'll take my time and sleek into it. I weigh more now than ever. I am having a hard time breathing (thats why I quit SMOKING! which btw is almost 6 months!!whoo hoo) I am having a hard time walking any where with any distance.

When I do come back I am probably going to start a new journal, a positive one. I need to look at things in a better perspective...whats that other saying, I look through things through rose colored glasses...I don't know.

Ok I hope you all have a wonderful day/morning!

Alex

Just peaking in, hope you find some help with the depression. I know you will fight til you find it. :console:

Hello Alex! Just checking in on you. Yea i wouldnt jump right in to losing weight, you need to take baby steps. Thats what i did after i regained the weight and after 7 weeks im down 26 pounds. I just take it day by day. You will do great when you get back on the wagon. im here if you need me and take care.

Wow Sandy 26 lbs. thats awesome!!

Well, I am back and hopefully this time I will keep up with my journal. When I was journaling everyday, even if it wasn't about weight loss I stuck to my "diet". So, tomorrow is a new day for me. I am 6 months nicotine free!! We actually went out today, the weather was beautiful and I was not tempted to smoke at all. There were smokers all over the place, we went to a antique swap meet thing. It was nice. We are trying to spend time with Mike's mom, she has breast cancer. She did super today though.

I am at an all time high..almost 250. I have over 100 lbs. to lose. I have really considered a bypass. Mike laughs at me when I say that, but my eating is really out of control. I know that even with the surgery you have to work, and I am willing to do that, but I may just try to lose it on my own first. My daughters best friend had bypass and lost 80 lbs. in 3-4 months. I don't know if I'm willing to do that though, I know this sounds weird but I like to have a nice Thanksgiving/Christmas/Easter dinner. If you have the surgery you really can't...I like having the option. I doubt I'd do it, but I have been reading alot about it.

My boys have been walking everyday, I'm going to start joining them hopefully tomorrow.

I did get a new depression medicine. Nothing yet, doc said it would take 3-4 weeks to work. Then I have to go see him again. Sleep is so so. He gave me Lunesta and I slept great for 2 nights now its back to a couple hours if I'm lucky. So, I have been feeling pretty useless lately.

Ok, well we're having movie night tonight. The boys get to watch Road Warrior and Mad Max lol its Mikes favorite!

Hope your all doing well, I will be back either tomorrow or Monday with a progress report LOL.

Hi, Alex:

I am so proud of you for sticking to the no-smoking thing. And it has been six months, that is wonderful!!! It really is.

I know you will be able to lose that weight when you are ready. It isn't easy, but it can be done. AND YOU CAN DO IT!!

Nice to have you posting again.

Have a great weekend.

Hi Alex, nice to see you back here again you definitely have been missed,how great on not smoking for 6 months now thats wonderful!!! Of course the down fall is the weight gain but since you have accomplished that theres no doubt that you can lose that weight too just have to do one day at a time,it will happen for you just believe that it will and it WILL,Alrighty my friend you take care and always keep on keepin on,I'll be back......

Hello Alex! I dont know about the bypass only because rapid weight loss isnt good for you and usually people are left with saggy loose skin. My aunt had it done and is way thinner but her skin looks so bad. Did you ever try ww, it is an awesome plan that teaches moderation and develops a good relationship with food for you in portion control. I love it and always had success with it. Just a thought. well you take care my friend and i will be back to check in on you.

Hi Alex,

Hope those new meds help you alot!!!

We would also love to have you here lots, miss reading about your days. That would be really neat to walk with your boys. Sometimes doing an activity with our kids brings out some of the best conversations.

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't posted in a while, things as usual are crazy. I have gotten the boys started on schooling and have to fill out Laceys graduation papers. So, I will have a graduated child :) She is only 16, and she managed to get all her credits in YAY! But she said she didn't want a party, so I think we'll have a small get together for her. I have to order graduation stuff hopefully Friday cause I am BROKE right now. I hate weeks like this, but its our own fault we spend when we shouldn't.

As far as weight loss..ummm, it hasn't happened. I have been so depressed and I am a comfort eater. When my sister gets depressed she doesn't eat, neither is good, but I'd rather not put on 20 lbs. just because I'm depressed.

I am still not smoking!! I think for the first time in 20 years I can say I don't want or need to smoke. It has been a little emotional at times, but I fought through it. I need to do the same thing with goodies I eat. When I wanted a cig I would tell myself "later" which I have read a lot of people do. In previous quits I would look at people smoking and envy them. I wanted to smoke cause they were smoking it wasn't fair! I don't feel that way anymore. I actually don't even notice it anymore. So, I just have to turn that thinking to binges. Yes, I need to eat to live, but I don't have to binge every night with cookies, ice cream, and chips!!

I think the new meds are starting to work. I also start another one tonight. Its one I have been on before so I'm not to concerned about it and it will probably be short term.

Well, with all this depression and stuff going on I have to get my laundry done. I have probably over 8 loads to do and thats not including the 3-4 loads I didn't fold. I don't have a laundry pile I have a laundry mountain.

Anyway, I will get to other journals asap!!


Miss ya,
A~

Hi, Alex:

Nice to have you posting. And I am so glad you are still a non-smoker! That is wonderful, you stick to it!

As for the eating, the time to get that under control will come. Don't worry about it. You have accomplished a great task with the stopping of the smoking, the dieting will come when you are ready for it.

Hang in there my friend! Enjoy life. Remember, life is actually pretty good, it really is.

Dear Alex,

I'm taking an ACTIVITY BREAK .. so I wanted to say I read your post AND I believe I understand where you're coming from .. I'm having my own FRUSTRATIONS primarily with my blood sugars .. PLUS the fact that I gained this week didn't put me in the best frame of mind ..

I wanted to offer some suggestions insofar as SNACKING TREATS .. whenever you want ice cream WHY NOT TRY .. Healthy Choice Fudge Bars or Healthy Choice Ice Cream Sandwiches .. they used to have Healthy Choice Sorbet (Raspberry) bars but I haven't found those in a long time ..

Also Nabisco now offers a variety of cookies in 100 Calorie Packs .. and granted they're small BUT they have flavor and they are ONLY 100 Calories per serving ..

I believe that Lays has 100 Calorie Packs as well .. and I know that PRINGLES has a variety of Potato Chips (Sour Cream & Onion .. Barbecued ... and Original) 100 Calorie potato chips .. I think that Snyder's also offers 100 Calorie Pretzels .. so that might meet some of your SNACKING NEEDS ..

I have to CREDIT YOU with giving up smoking which is SUCH A BENEFIT and can be a very hard habit to break ..

LOL and I understand about MONEY .. boy do I understand .. but hang in there everything will in TIME be resolved .. I hope I have helped .. but KNOW THAT YOU CAN ACHIEVE WHATEVER GOALS YOU SET FOR YOURSELF.. have and make it a great day .. Monica

I am so sorry I haven't been on. Thank you to those who did reply.

My 16 year old daughter informed us yesterday she is pregnant. I am devastated. I don't know how to react, think, hold it together. I always told her if she was having sex to tell me, she has been on the pill before, it wasn't a problem. Now, I'm going to be a grandmother at 36.

I'll update when I feel better. Just so depressed right now.

A~

Dear Alex,

I can understand your feelings :console: .. but imho KEEP CALM have your daughter checked out by an obgyn .. and then sit down as a FAMILY and discuss JUST what needs to be done ..

It will be okay Alex .. Much love, :hug: Monica

(((Alex)))

Yes, this is a difficult thing for you and your family to deal with. But it can be dealt with.

Have your daughter checked out by an Ob/Gyn. He/she can offer suggestions as to a future course of action. Also your clergyperson is a great resource person in situations of this nature. I know you have home-schooled Lacey, does your home-school association have resources that can be of help? These are just suggestions, you'll figure out what to do.

Above all, don't quit posting here at Diettalk. Your fellow members of DT can provide lots of support and suggestions in more situations that just healthy eating.

Above all, stay calm both for your sake and Lacey's. She really needs your love and support now.

Thank you so much Monica and Jo. We are going to sit down with Lacey this weekend after we get our thoughts together. The boyfriends parents don't know yet so we may end up having a conversation including them on Sunday. Thats when the kids are planning to tell them. Our biggest thing we keep telling Lacey is that she is going to have to grow up really fast. I will keep you all updated and try to get on this eating healthy track. I want Lace to eat healthy so we may make it a family thing. Thank you again!!!!

Alex

I am so sorry, I am just really inconsolable. My heart is broken. I love my daughter so much and expected so much more from her. I have been out of control eating. I can't stop. I am sick to my stomach. I really need to get my eating under control. I know that teen pregnancy isn't "a big deal" but to me it is. I do go see my shrink Monday. although I am on enough meds at this point. I am nervous all the time. *sigh* I have to get through this with some kind of sanity. I'm sorry to pour it out here, I have NOONE to talk to and I'm really ready to burst. I do apologize...and thank each of you!

Alex :hug:

(((Alex)))

You are having very natural feelings at this time. There is no need to apologize for that. You love Lacey, yet you probably want to wring her neck. This is not what you had planned for her life.

I am glad you are seeing "your shrink" Monday. Hopefully he/she can help you sort out your feelings. At any rate, honestly, you will feel better after the initial shock wears off.

It is very true that teen pregnancy is common these days. But it is still a situation that is difficult for everyone.

Don't apologize for venting your feelings here in your journal. It is your journal, and you are entitled to use it any way you want to.

Your eating is understandable too. However the answer to your problem(s) cannot be found behind the door of your refrigerator.

You are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

Dear Alex,

This is your Journal .. this is your haven .. and YOU HAVE NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR .. just KNOW THAT WE'RE HERE WHENEVER YOU NEED TO HAVE A LISTENING EAR .. Love you lots, Monica :hug:

Alex – I’m so sorry to hear about what your going through. If their’s anything you ever need, please remember that we all do care about you and were all here for you.

Hugs,

my heart goes out to you. I know this is a difficult time!

Just a quick update. It seems that Lacey had started some bleeding yesterday and I took her in for an emergency ultrasound, we couldn't see the baby that was seen on Wednesday (when she wouldn't let me in). We are doing some testing from now until Sunday and testing HCG level to see if it is a "bad pregnancy" it could still be good, but it isn't looking good. She is handling everything pretty good. I will update when I can and not so stressed.

Thank you all for your thoughts!!

Dear Alex,

KEEPING YOU AND YOURS IN MY PRAYERS -- Love you lots, :hug: Monica

Hi, Alex:

You and Lacey are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted.

Thank you Monica and Jo...you two are so awesome, I am lucky to have friends like you. Well she is still having some cramping, a little brown discharge. In my head I am thinking that if there was a baby it is now leaving us. We will know more tomorrow. I am kinda sad that I was so aggravated with her about the whole delivery room situation. Now, we have told her if this pregnancy does end that she will go on birth control and she definetly agreed. We do not need a baby right now and she agreed that she is way too immature for a baby. Mike and I discussed it today and we had said we wouldn't raise that baby, but both of us knew that boyfriend and Lacey are way to immature to raise a child. Neither want to give up their own lives.

Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers..they are always needed and appreciated.

Also, Katherine..thank you so much for your support...its also GREAT to see you!! Judith thank you as well. All your support is so heartfelt. Right now I really need all I can get!! Thank you.

Hopefully soon my life will settle down a bit and I can start getting to journals again. *sigh* and to think I thought my life was too boring at one time...LOL, what I wouldn't give for that again!! :) Smile !!

Love you all, Miss you all

Alex

My daughter has definetly had a miscarriage. The dr. said he doesn't think she will need a DNC as her pregnancy levels are down to 8. Now, she goes to the dr. on Tuesday and we have to get this girl on birth control. Thank you to those that supported me through this trauma...

Alex, thanks for keeping us up to date. My prayers for you and Lacey continue.

Jo, thank you for your prayers, they are much appreciated. Today we went to the dr and she did verify that Lacey was pregnant and did have a misscarriage. It was not a false pregnancy. She was the sweetest dr. I have ever seen. She gave Lacey her condolenses and gave her a hug! I thought that was very sweet. We talked alot about birth control and what option we should go. There are so many things out there than when I was looking. So, right now she will start the pill on Sunday and we are thinking about getting the IUD Mirena put in in about 4-6 weeks. We are going to research it all first.

NOW, I'm giving myself the rest of this week, then I have to get myself back on track. I am BIG! I fit into nothing and have absolutely no energy. I am going to have for force myself to do anything. I know I have been very depressed lately, but I have to stop giving into that and moving forward. I have over 100 lbs. to lose and just get so overwhelmed. I have to do something soon. I mean I quit smoking 7 months ago, and my breathing now is so labored because of my weight...make sense? Nah, don't think so.

We are in a major money crunch. I hate it. I am so afraid. Stress which leads to eating which means to gaining...YUCK! I have to sit down with bills tomorrow. Most are medical bills I'm going to call and make arrangements with them all this week. I just don't feel like it..I know bad excuse.

Ok, I have to get to bed.

Hope each of you are doing well..

Alex

Hi, Alex:

You have had a lot to deal with recently, no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed with it all. But time will take care of a lot of the stress you are dealing with.

And as time goes on you will be able to focus more on your own needs, eating healthy and exercising more. Take baby steps, keep your focus, and enjoy life along the way.

AND DON'T START SMOKING AGAIN!! I know you won't, and I am so proud of you for quitting that habit and sticking with it.

Please keep posting so we can cheer you on with your weight-loss efforts.

Jo, you are so sweet, no way would I start smoking again. I am 7 months SOLID, not a puff!! I feel clean of that habit. Now, if I could clean myself of junk food LOL. Things between Lacey and I are wonderful. Since the pregnancy and miscarriage we are getting along better than we have in years. I have my daughter back. We have not fought, yelled, its funny I actually had a dream we were fighting I woke up and had to ask her if we were fighting LOL. She just starting laughing. She is helping around the house, just being an all around good girl. Since she entered into teendom we have not seen eye to eye and fought constantly. Mostly putting her father in the middle. Now, she has completely changed we are talking more, hugging more, saying I love you more. She wants to do things with me more. Its just been great. She knows that I am clinically depressed and on bad days will take over the household and let me rest. I don't know what happened to my child but I like this one LOL. She has been awesome. Her room is still a wreck but thats OK. lol. I have always gotten along with my boys no problems at all, but my middle son is about to turn 13 and I'm scared LOL.

I have lost 4 lbs. but I think its from stress. I am so worried about everything.

Just a little update. When I get back on track I'll be back.

Love to you all

Alex~

Hi, Alex:

Thanks for the update. I am so glad that you and Lacey are getting along these days. That must be a great comfort to you. Growing up is difficult for all children, and some children have a more difficult time of it than others. It is just a normal process.

When the time is right you will be able to lose weight and ditch the junk food. And you are the one who will know when the time is right.

Again, thanks for the update. Now, smile. That was a nice smile~

Well, HELLLO! For those that have read my story and have followed what has gone on this year will see that ANY good news we get we WELCOME with OPEN arms and hold on as tight as we can. I have had such horrible depression on and off all year, among all the hospital stays, surgeries, ect. you know. Anyway...Lacey has officially graduated high school as of August 15, 2008. We finally received her diploma last week, (can you tell how impatient I am LOL), anyway it is one of the most beautiful peices of paper I have ever seen. Anyway, Laceys interests over the years have changed just like any childs, but the one she has stuck to the most is cosmetology. I sat down with her and drilled in her head to make sure that she knows for sure, thats what she wants. School is NOT cheap. I can't afford for her to try different careers for her to make that decision. She said Hair, I want Cosmetology. We were laughing LOL, we may not be able to spell it, but she will be educated in it LOL. SOOO, we emailed a school nearby, that is supposed to be a "good" school in that field. I hadn't looked into it because I really didn't think it would stick, I figured it would be a passing thing, ya know little girls and their hair. NOPE, she is DEAD SERIOUS! So, we emailed them to send a booklet. I honestly didn't remember putting a phone number in but within 10 mins I had a phone call and an appt. for Thurs. We went in last Thurs. My daughter starts school full time Dec. 1, 2008 and will graduate November,2009---2 weeks BEFORE her 18th birthday!!! I knew she'd make me proud..

Well, I'm beat, I'll be back soon....getting back on track soon!!!

Alex

Good for Lacey. She knows what she wants to do and she will do it. Good for her.

Alex,
I'm so sorry to hear about all that you've been through this year. Please hang in there sweetie, and know that were all here for you. I think that's great that Lacey has plans for her furture.

luv to ya!

Hi all!!so sorry I am "come and go" these days. I have so much to do and just flat don't get it done. I have to reenter a ton of Justins assignments, the computer crashed and we lost it all. Soo, because of my stupidity not backing it up I have to reenter it all and I am way behind. I have to do it. I am hoping to get it done by the weekend.

We think that I may have had another seizure. A small one, but I don't remember anything. I do have a small place on my tongue that I actually just noticed that could be a bite. I know its not really "funny" but I did laugh when Mike told me "I went upstairs, he doesn't know if I went outside or not, came downstairs back to bed he asked me what I was doing and I said I was showing Duncan and Richie (dogs) all over our new house!!" We have lived here 10 years and not planning a move any time soon. I giggled though, he didn't like me laughing. I know I shouldn't, the seizures are scary. I didn't go to the ER because they would admit me and I would sleep it off, and get sent home. I think I need to find another neurologist.

My weight is off the charts. I have to get on track, which has been really hard. I have cut back a little at a time. So I am hoping that soon I will be really on track. My problem is ice cream I know there are low fat ice cream, but I will just eat more. I am hoping that this time next year I will at least trying more.

Ok, well just a small update. Hope you are all well and thank you all~~Alex

Hi, Alex:

Thanks for checking in every so often whenever you can. We appreciate hearing how things are going in your life.

I know that things will settle down for you one of these days, and that you can then get into some sort of weight-loss program. Until then, just do the best you can.

And again, thanks for checking in -