Why are we so angry all the time? I've been noticing how vicious some are getting towards others and I just wonder why?

You do understand that anger does keep us binging and keeps us from our goals? When you are angry, what do you want to do? Eat!!


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You can do it!!!!!!

John
hosts@diettalk.com

[This message has been edited by John (edited 01-21-2001).]

I know what you mean John and it all makes me so ill. Whatever happen to DIETTALK??? It's now WWF Wrestling. http://www.diettalk.com/uub//frown.gif

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bougiej@hotmail.com

John,

You are so right..... anger is one of the things that makes me really go off the deep end.... and when anger occurs in a part of your life that you never thought it would (re DT) it tends to explode.....

Hang in there everyone......~~

http://www.geocities.com/ruinkai/heartpump.gif We love you all~~

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Tina a.k.a. FozzieBear

Welcome to Tina's Webpage (http://www.angelfire.com/sc/umeina63)
tinanevan2000@aol.com

~FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION~

Angry?...
A wasted emotion...when someone makes you angry you lose power. I find that when someone is rude I pity them more than anything else. Now if someone is so rude and a pain that I just don't like them at all, I don't waste my energy on trying to cuddle up to them either.

BUT!!...I have worked through alot of major issues.. When I first started through this process I jumped on ever spot in the road I could to flare up and burn myself out... I had been hurt and I would hurt back.

Now, I have found that any painful emotion that others can bring to my surface stems not from them but from something inside myself in which I still need healing.

Life is too short to get angry..BUT...SOMETIMES I STILL GET SHOCKED BY THE ANGER AND RUDENESS of others.

Happy trails to u..hehee
:)

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Pamela
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Filling the void with control not food!

John,

I've only been coming to DT since the 1st of the year, but I would like to put my 2-cents in here.

It seem this problem is two-fold.

1 - Sometimes people say or do things that are considered offensive just because they aren't really thinking clearly at the moment, or are upset about something totally unrelated, or just aren't thinking at all.

2 - Sometimes people TAKE offense where none was intended. And I believe this is especially true of those who have been insulted repeatedly for being overweight (or too tall, or too short, or not too bright, or too nerdy; you name it, someone out there will be willing to tell you how odd you are!) After a while, we begin to EXPECT people to be offensive toward us!

One of the most comforting things I have found about DietTalk is that just about everyone here has been in that boat, and is very sensitive about what they say - even when they disagree with other DT'rs.

If we need someone to insult us or tell us how it's our own fault we're where we are, all we have to do is step out the door! We come here to allow our "angels" to reinforce us so that we CAN go "out there" and not be injured.

We are as different from one another as night is from day in every other aspect of our lives except this quest for healthier bodies. And we are all grateful for this site, where we can come to be encouraged and supported in our efforts and share what we know about food with one another.

God bless us all.

Hugs,
ThinLynn

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BLOOM WHERE YOU'RE PLANTED!

Jonh is right.....

NO http://www.diettalk.com/uub//mad.gif



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Remember the positive things of your day!!!
Stay Kool Tami

I don't think I've ever seen posts here as mean and cruel as the ones I read this morning. I'm sure that the subject of these posts has also read them, which is the sad part. I think we've all made catty remarks here and in private but this goes WAY over the line.

John has always said "no fighting" and it's his board. We can ignore the posts that we don't like.

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Thanks. We never really take a look at ourselves and how we interact with others. I've always been taught that I should treat others the way we want to be treated. I've always tried to live it that way.

Unfortunately, looking at ourselves can be very hard. You can learn a lot about yourself and how your mind really controls your body.

Of course I get angry but angry makes me fat.


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You can do it!!!!!!

John
hosts@diettalk.com

Well John, there can also be two sides of that story. I, myself, was never allowed to "vent" or express my opinion so I "ate my anger!" I try though, when I am speaking, to be reasonable and the only way you really learn anything is with a good discussion. Pro and con. That's how some pros' get to become cons' and the reverse. :)
"Finding the answers always involves asking the questions."
Babs

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I agree with both of you, John and Babs, but I think sometimes anger is healthy - it's the emotion that God gave us to tell us something is wrong. What is unhealthy is the way we choose to express it or deal with it. It's unhealthy to eat through it, like John is talking about and I do that, too. But it's also unhealthy to lash out and attack someone because you are angry with them, too. Something I've learned in the last few years is that anger is fear based. So I'm trying to ask myself what am I really afraid of when I react with anger. And Bab's I agree on having discussions and I think John is all for having discussions, but what went on here yesterday went beyond a good old healthy discussion. The discussion about the original post got lost in all the anger that the rudeness and meanness provoked. I like a discussion as much as the next person, but the level of intensity yesterday got to me big time.... life is too short to spend it in anger... there's too much to be grateful for and one of the things I'm most grateful for is the friends I've made here and the support I've gotten here. I don't want that to change unless the change is just for it all to get even better...... *grin*

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Here's to healthy and happy!

Dj

[This message has been edited by Dj (edited 01-21-2001).]

Actually I wasn't angry I was just trying to learn some more about emotional eating and why we use food to "fill up our feelings." I believe though that tact is always necessary when you are discussing anything from politics to religion and I do try to use tact and think before I respond to anyones post about any issues I may not understand or agree with. I hope no one took me as being a antagonist. I was just looking at all the issues involved in the no diet approach hoping to learn something that would benefit me as a whole person.
Hugs to all~Babs

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This is such a great thread. Thanks for bringing it up John. Anger..... I have suffered so much in my life for being angry and have on more than one occasion opened my big mouth and poured out sizzling words.
I've found that the anger just comes right back at me. Everyone has their own life story; some of us grew up in dysfunctional homes, others suffered abuse, most of us have suffered from being overweight and hearing nasty comments about it. I would venture to say that lots of us at Diettalk have unresolved issues that we carry around with us from our childhood or life experiences....and sometimes we slip up and say something hurtful.
What I attempt to do if someone makes me very angry is to try and remember that I can only control myself. I have no control over other peoples' outbursts or mean words. That sometimes helps me put things into perspective and cool down.
DJ, as usual, you are a calming voice here, gently putting out the fires. May God bless and keep you!

Mer, thanks.... I just want everyone to get along, but I know that's not always possible. Hopefully, we are all learning something from this.

Babs... I wasn't accusing anyone. I think part of it is we just all have our own definition of what "no diet" is. I used to call what I did "the no diet approach", but when I realized what duffy meant by starting it, I found the EEH thread (exercize and the eating healthy thing) and/or the Healthy Lifestyle thread and actually that's more attune to what I'm doing, so normally I would choose one of those to report. It's just all a matter of personal preference and what you define as no diet....

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Here's to healthy and happy!

Dj

That's true DJ. All that matters in the end is that no matter what the approach, we all reach our common goal to be healthier people. I do learn a lot from this site and many posts have helped me so much I am hoping someday to read "just that certain one" that lights the "spark" for me.
I like a "good thoughtout discussion" though. I think knowledge is ongoing and you can always learn something from everyone to apply to your own life and hopefully make it better in some way. I, myself, have learned a lot on this site and I wouldn't ever give it up unless John "kicked" me out :D
:Always listen to your still, small voice"
Babs :)

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Please everyone,fat skinny,young,old,beautiful,ugly,opinionated,
shy,want buddies,don't want buddies,over 100# under 100#.....Please keep posting on "seniors only" and "over 100" boards...I don't care who you are....I need all of you...I don't care a whit about what diet you are on...we NEED each other...I don't care a whit what you weigh...we NEED each other....Frances.... and I probably don't know how to spell whit...lol

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BABS..
I thought you were sparked..if not let me remind you..heheee

THIS IS DAY 4 of MAKE A NEW HABIT CHALLENGE..
Have you pressed any sugar to those lips yet?..ROFLMPO

hugs..
:)

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Pamela
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Filling the void with control not food!

We need you, too, Frances!

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Here's to healthy and happy!

Dj

Although I don't believe I've shown any here in DT, I have been feeling TONS of anger for about the last month. I have been very conscious of it, trying hard not to "eat it away", but letting it simply be so that I can identify it. I know that my anger stems from years of not dealing with it appropriately the first time, and then using food to quiet it all down. Now that I am controlling my food, taking my "sedative" away, all the anger is surfacing. I don't think it is surprising at all to see flare ups on here once in a while. We are all detoxing off our "drugs". If we can't eat our emotions down, they come flying out. We need to be mindful of this, and deal with them appropriately, once and for all, so they don't continue to haunt us the rest of our lives. NOW BACK OFF!!! (HA HA...little anger joke!!)

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Joni

I think DISCOMOMA is serious since she posted it twice..LMPO
:)

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Pamela
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Filling the void with control not food!

I was just thinking that same exact thing Pamela...rofl

Well she got the point across... :D

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Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!

*poof* it's gone! Yes, I can do magic! LOL

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Joni

Anger... I hardly ever get angry but when I do I voice my anger. I can't just ignore it, that would just make it even worse.

If I posted that it was because I believe in our right to voice our opinions. I was new here once too and I would have been shocked if anyone was rude to me.

I agree that anger at DT is not a nice thing to see, especially for newcomers who might get shocked at some of our posts. I have decided to email people directly when something or someone offends me instead.

Anger does not make me fat, it does quite the opposite :D

Thanks John for a great post! :)



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~Keep trying! Keep losing!~
Massie

If a post offends me, I just skip it. If something was especially offensive I guess I would probably e-mail John. Since it's his board, I think he should decide what to do about offensive posts, not us.

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Something to add...the mud slinging back and forth over a post someone may find offensive does none of us any good. There are other ways to handle things without getting all upset and angry.

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As Oprah would say: Lets' get on with the program!" :D
Babs

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